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Hi all,
I many years ago had an account on the Dad Talk forum (which I believe has now become part of Dad Info?). A news story on fathers gave me the motivation to try and find the forum again, so here I am! When I was a new parent I used both Dad Talk and Dad Info for advice.
I'm a Dad who lives in the south-west of England. I'm a father to three children:
A four year old boy
A little girl who sadly died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome in January of this year
An unborn baby that will be arriving just after Christmas by elective c-section
I've read some of the boards and I won't be able to offer assistance with certain topics (e.g. fighting for access to your children) as I have no experience in these areas, but I'm happy to help with general parenting topics and even coping with bereavement if anyone is affected by that.
Hi Chutzpah,
Welcome back.
I many years ago had an account on the Dad Talk forum (which I believe has now become part of Dad Info?).
Yes DAD.info and DadTalk merged in Dec 2011.
Wow it sounds like you have really been through the mill this year.
Congratulations on your impending arrival.
Gooner
Thanks Gooner,
Yes indeed, it's been a tough one! I've nearly pointed out to a few people who have said "wow, that will be a lovely way to end the year" that at the start of it we didn't realise we'd end the year with one child missing and a third (we only ever planned to have two children).
Hi and welcome back
I am glad your year is ending on a happier note than it started and wish you all the very best for the future.
How on earth did you get over the sad death of your daughter? You must have had some very dark days
How on earth did you get over the sad death of your daughter? You must have had some very dark days
The best way that I've managed to describe it is that you never get over it, you just find new ways to cope. Just last week, what with putting up the Christmas decorations and all that, I had a few low days. All you want to do is climb into bed and ignore the world.
Everything from that day, from receiving a phone call at work from my distraught wife (I had to change my mobile ringtone as I got flashbacks every time the phone rang), seeing an ambulance outside my house, seeing them perform CPR on my daughter, being told there was nothing more they could do, cuddling her in my arms.... All of it still haunts me. The worst is flashbacks late at night as they just replay in your head over and over and you can't sleep.
But on the plus side - you really do find out who your real friends and family are during such a period in your life - and trust me, some of the people that you can most depend on are the people you least expect. In a way that's quite comforting, and has made me re-evaluate how I assist others when they face a major life event. One of the decent things that we had done for us was when our neighbour heard what had happened she cooked us dinner (as she "didn't know what else to do"). When a friend of mine lost his wife a few months ago it was the first thing I went to do for him.
Hi there and welcome 🙂
... I just want to give you a big virtual hug, reach out to you for your loss and congratulate you on the imminent new arrival.
Grief is a very personal journey, the loss of a loved one, especially a child, can seem insurmountable at times... I've never understood the people that say "oh, it gets better wiith time..." I personally dont think it ever "gets better", its just as you say, we find new ways to cope...
Thank you so much for reaching out to help others....you have a brave heart!
Welcome back to tjhe forum, I'm sure lots of us are weren't here the first time you were on here.
I mirror what's been said it must have been very sad times, but the new arrival on the way must feel great.
Have you found out what the [censored] of the new baby will be?
Darren
Baby number three safely delivered by elective c-section today - a little baby girl that complements our family, not replaces the one we lost.
I feel like a small part of my life has returned tonight 🙂
Congratulations on the new arrival - looking forward to your tales of sleepless nights etc!!!!
Great news - really pleased for you
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