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Hi I am new to this forum and I am glad that dads unite in fight for their children. This makes me feel that I am not alone in this mess.
My case is a bit complicated.
My ex-partner has left me and my child when my daughter was 2 and came to uk. I have lost my job and in order to be able to provide for my daughter I had to leave too. I have been to Norway working as cash to hand and was doing fine, but good thing don't last long and my health brought me back home. I had to leave to UK too looking for a better life, but I haven't lost my contact with my daughter. Every time when I could get holidays I was travelling overseas to spend time with my kid. Because she was small she thought that I am working hard and that's why I am not with her at all times. her mother did not bother to maintain any contact - my daughter did not know what she looks like. Unfortunately my daughter was under my Ex's mother and I will not get her on my side - she is angry that I did not marry her daughter. I was just a piggy bank for them.
For the past 2 year I was begging her to allow me to bring our child to uk - we both live in a short distance to each other and would be able to have contact as it should be done in first place. She refused saying that she doesn't care and if she won;t have her I can;t have her. My Ex does men, alcohol and cigarettes and has no respect for other people's feelings - especially our daughter. Suddenly she she went overseas and brought our kid to UK without consulting this with me. (I have signed passport for her over a year ago hoping to convince my Ex that I could have our daughter for holiday period). She got married to grant someone Visa - cash for vista deal.
She said in front of a wide audience that she doesn't care for the child and she only brought her to get child maintenance. She made a claim through CSA saying that she is resident parent (?!) asking them to empty my account. At first I thought that it would be good to have evidence that I am providing for my child, but my sisters who are in contact with my daughter said that my ex in neglecting her:
- she had taken her out of school and never registered in UK (she wanted to get CSA and send her back )
- she has been either locked in her house (she lives and works above the pub) or dumped her with total strangers to care for
- my daughter looks like she's homeless - worn up to a limit clothes, she is always dirty and gets leftovers from the pub or whatever the strangers will give her
- she had brainwashed her saying that she doesn't have anyone who could help her and that I am angry with her and for that reason I don;t get to visit
I got scared and contacted Social Services - I am hoping that their assessment will allow me to get my daughter under my full care
Out of desperacy I have contacted home office and reported sham marriage hoping that they will lock her up - she doesn;t even live with her husband. I don;t know how long their investigation will last before arresting her.
I am getting married in 3 weeks and straight after this I will put application for the residential order. Should I look for a solicitor ?
I am afraid that the court will take under consideration my daughters opinion (she is 6,5) but she is convinced that I hate her and for that reason I have suddenly lost contact with her. When in fact my ex has hidden her from me in her "friends houses" because some big fat lawyer told her that the less I see my child the more money she can claim.
I don't know what the court residential order looks like - I do not understand system and I am terrified and desperate enough to go through this.
I am convinced that the social services will not just pop in - but will make an appointment to see my Ex and this means that she will be prepared - house cleaned, alcohol bottles chucked away, whole house will be sprayed with flowery scent and the child will have new clothes for once. I am hoping that they will pop in unannounced and see what everyone else have seen.
Has anyone been in similar situation ? What evidence do I need to convince the court that I am the best party to raise my daughter.
The way I see it - I will be married professional with highly educated wife who could help my child learning English and get help with education, my shift pattern allows for an adult to be at home at all times, I have 2 B house with a garden and live only with my future wife , 2 schools in walking distance from my house and GP behind a corner from where I live, i don't drink or smoke I have full-time job with descent salary
My Ex does men, alcohol and cigarettes, she's been bullying our daughter, retracted her from school, kept her away from her peers and kidnapped her from overseas; she's got fake marriage (but I can't say this in the court as I could interfere with HO investigation)
My sisters are my witnesses, but I doubt they would take my side as we had argument about the money years ago and ever since we are in a massive conflict. I haven't even invited them in for my wedding - it's that bad.
How can I prove my words if social services will fail to get proper evidence? what else I can do to support my case.
I would be grateful for any advise.
Hi and welcome
Can you clarify where your daughter was born - I'm not sure what the jurisdictions are here, but I would keep in regular contact with social services as it certainly sounds like there are serious child welfare issues here.
Hi thanx for reply.
My child was born in Poland as this is where we are all from. According to Polish law if both parents are overseas they have to sort their issues out in the court of their residence country - which in this case would be UK.
Poland is a quite puritan country where a father is on the lost position no matter what the circumstances are, so I am hoping that the system of UK courts is more liberal and chooses the child's welfare and stability rather than the mother just because she calls herself to be one.
I am hoping that social services will conclude that I am right and will ask all witnesses that I have provided them with, but not sure how long this will take.
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