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Hi guys I have a story to tell and need a little help.
me and the other half split up 8/9 months ago, we have an 8 year old son and a house together but we are not married,things where not too bad to begin with after the split but as I have slowly started to get my life back on track things have gone from bad to worse. She started to play games about 3 months ago bearing in mind she's stayed in the house which I said I would keep paying the mortgage and have, also she kept the car I walked away with pretty much my clothes.so anyway I went and got a solicitor involved which refered us to mediation, when she got the letter she pretty much flipped and stopped me from seeing my son.fast forward 2 months and we have had our first mediation session. She is playing games in mediation as well insisting I have anger management and wants supervised acsess for me and my son all because I put my hand through a door in the house in the heat of an argument, the was not and never has been any domestic abuse what so ever it was extremely carrictor of me but she has twisted it completely, she is even poisoning my son against me too when all I ever did was try to be a good partner and dad,I found mediation a complete waste of money I was very very open minded and positive reguarding it but left feeling worse than when I went in, the mediator basically told me in not so many words that I should go for the management do what she is demanding because if I didn't it would go to court and cost me £2500+ I am at my wits end and just don't know what to do.
Hi There.
Welcome to the site,
Sorry to hear that you haven't managed to get any where with mediation, It sounds as though you may need to go to court to apply for a contact order if you haven't been able to get anywhere in mediation, have you just been to the one mediation appointment or have you had a few?
You can go to court for just the cost of the court fees, as you are able to represent yourself all the way through and not incur any legal fees, I have done this and so have others on this site, it is quite daunting but not as bad as you would think and we can talk you through the proccess and give advice as you go.
There is a guide to applying for and representing yourself through a contact order at the top of the legal section, have a read through and see what you think, any questions just shout.
Darren
Thanks for the reply Darren,
It was our first mediation session, I have been in contact with with somebody reguarding anger managmant this morning and waiting for a call back, I,thought at least if I am seen to be making an effort it would stand in my favour, it's annoying very annoying I feel like a non smoker being made to wear a smoking patch just incase I decide to start smoking if you catch my drift.
Maybe I should give mediation at least another go and hope it gets better, Ithink it was hoping it was going to be my saviour and was left very disappointed when things never went my way!!
I think giving mediation another go might be benificial as if you were to go to court it would be better to have ensured you had exhuasted all avenues of resolving things between you.
I know what you mean about being deflated after mediation, I went through 2 seperate lots of mediation, once when I first split and then again 2 years later, I didn't get anywhere the first time and the second got a little way but not where it needed to be.
Update!!
I ex asked me to meet her for a chat in a quiet pub out of the way, she said to me that she would let me see our son on the condition I undertake the anger management and get a contract drawn up with my solicitor stating that I am willing to pay the mortgage on our house until our son is 16/18 he is 8 btw, to be honest this was agreed to begin with but I told her I would go with it but I want a clause in it the contract stating that she cannot have anybody living there with her because I ain't paying a mortgage for her to live with somebody else,, she told me a straight NO and that the house is no longer mine it's hers, so to this I said to her that I would see her in mediation!
And walked out!
She wants everything and I mean everything her own way!
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