[Solved] how can i put my point across?

To be honest, I'd say that if you expand on everything you have just written, you are pretty much there with what you want to get across. One thing your daughter needs is certainty of contact, and your ex is preventing that. Ultimately, mediation is there to try to come to a reasonably agreement - if you can, then get it written into a contact order (on the basis that you believe your ex won't keep to the agreement if it isn't), and if you can't reach an agreement, then it goes to court where they will make a decision on what is best - and nothing you have asked for is unreasonable in my opinion.

Expand?? How and in what way ??

Sorry, I just meant for you to separate your notes out into distinct points and explain more fully your reasoning for each one. I think the reasons you have mentioned are all very valid and reasonable.

right ok thanks x

ive done this what do you think

hope i done it right lol

thats it lol

maybe not lol

Just try copying and pasting the text to a post rather than uploading a file.

Gooner

I tried to copy and paste but it didnt work lol

UPDATE - Ive messed up big time i had it all planned even written down but after the first few minutes i lost it. not in a nasty way. dont know how to explain it but when i try and communicate with her my mind goes blank and i dont say half of what i should say. Its ened up where contact is resumed. But it still has to be at my mums Nichola and kids not allowed. Cian My daughter half brother only allowed to be there once a month even if our daughter wants to see him more she can't. her reason for our daughter not being near nichola's kids. Is because she says her daughter physically lashes out even nipping and biting her brother and sister. she says she dont want it happening to nichola kids ending up where it causes an argument between me and nichola. Yet she wasn't against cian coming (So to me even though i didnt say that was just an excuse.) So now my current partner says shes tempted to refuse to let cian go even once a month (even though she agree's she dont think sian would lash out even if she did that we'd deal with it. Nichola's annoyed that shes assumed that she have a go at sian while i stand back. As nichola says shes wrong to assume and predict things when she doesnt even know her. Ive got to back her more when she punishes our daughter (been told i have to sit down and talk to our daughter abt whats shes done). Which i already do but stupid me didnt open my mouth and say so. Even back her as and when she still continues to use stopping our daughter and dad time as a punishment. Apparently shes saying shes been advised to do it . But she also asked ok if i dont do that what can i do. Ive took her favourite things off her like ds phone but not worked. Cant ground her or stop her socialising as she doesnt anyway. I cudnt think of out and still cant ANY IDEAS PLS??? I do have a name of a cple of people who come into her school to help her with her problems. Funny though a while ago i had one of those peoples details and last time they said they couldn't comment as dont deal with her anymore. I be fumming if i get that again. And she totally denied calling me or having a go at me in front of our daughter. Then stupid me said at the end of the mediation that i agreed to it all when i still wasnt happy. which i only said because thought if i did she would refuse to re-sume contact. And ive already lost enough time with my daughter. The only option is to go through court but have solicitors because i never be able to put my point across verbally. but yet its not an option as funds are tight. AAaaaaargh rant over

Hi Darren

Sorry to say this, but I'm having trouble following what has happened from your posting, so we may need to tackle it a bit at a time.

First thing I did get though, is that contact is going ahead, although not ideally on the terms you want, it is contact nonetheless. I would suggest that you let this run for a few months and once it's gone well, then ask for it to be extended, and to be able to introduce your daughter to the rest of your family. The reason for letting it run for a while is that if you do go to mediation again (or to court) you have a record of contact going well and that's a good basis for getting it extended, and if she won't agree, then it could be down to going to court and letting a judge decide, and if there's not reason not to, chances are the court will increase contact.

There's no reason why you can't represent yourself in court - if you can't express yourself to well verbally, firstly there's your statement to court, which you can work out properly at your leisure beforehand, and there's no reason you can't take in what you would like to say to the court, give and ask the judge to read it, explaining that you have trouble expressing yourself verbally. That way, the judge can ask you questions and you are simply responding to those, rather than trying to get your point across from scratch. The judges aren't trying to catch you out, their job is to wok out what is in the best interest of all parties, especially the children, and they expect people to be nervous in court.

shes already made it clear that contact with nichola and the children will never happen or be an option. as for the judge asking me questions again it will be a prob cause i cant always think on the spot. for example like i said with the mediation i didnt say half of what i should of said and came out thinking i shud of said this or cud of said that. more than like im gonna come across as not really caring when i know and others know different x
For example when the subject of the ex bringing up that she doesnt like me running to others resulting in my mum and dad having a say throght the texts. she said she knows the texts arent mine. I replied yes it was me that sent them but family ie gave me ideas what to put. But actually that didnt come across right. yes my mum and co do help me but its not their views its mine. i normally say my ex has just said......... (And what ever she said.) and i tell them im not happy i want This.......... So then they help me to word what im trying to say. So it not just verbally but also putting thing into words if you understand me?

Although she has said that contact with your family isn't an option, if you go for a contact order in the future which says that you can have unsupervised contact (and there's no reason to think that shouldn't happen) then you ex won't be able to place the restrictions on your contact, which is why I suggest that you should build up a few months of good contact first.

At some point however, if you want to increase contact, unless your ex voluntarily increases contact, you are going to have to either go back to mediation, or possibly to court. Hopefully others on here can offer advice and encouragement on how best to prepare for representing yourself.

I already have unsupervised contact its just that she thinks its ok to tell me wat to do and where it happens. even though it has to be at my parents its not that my parents have to be there. im going to see how it goes and go from there.