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hi
Im hoping this site will give me the hope i so need at the moment, I have a fantastic little boy called lewis who is two next month, his mother took him from me when he was only 3 months old saying I didnt show her any love ect, this was in the same year i watched my dad die for 3 months till his last breath, so I can only say this did affect our relationship as she was pregnant at the time.
However since she took our son while i was at work and i found out when i came home to find our sons cot clothes ect had gone ( Im sure you can imagine how this would effect any parent) she has been difficult and what is so very common im affraid she uses our son as a tool to hurt me, like she only lets me have him for one night a week (thursday 10am till friday 5pm) and she has piont blank refused to let me have him for any longer, i have asked for a week i have also asked for 3 seperate weeks a year she says no because it would be too long, she uses the routine excuse and the excuse that lewis needs to be settled.
I have paid her £150 minimum per month since she left apart from 8 months when i was made redundant and couldnt get a job, since she left she has had another brief relationship with a fella that wasnt a problem but soon ended when she realized i didnt care, but she also wanted to get back with me and like a fool i did try for the sake of lewis but realized i couldnt forgive her for the time i missed with lewis and the cr-p she put lewis and me through.
so it has now gone back to im only able to see our son thur to friday, I would like to piont out that she has let me have lewis before for 4 days (3 nights) when she was dating this new fella and this was fantastic but short lived.
me and our son lewis are so close people cant believe it I love him more than anything and it ruins me everytime i have to drop him off even today he cried his little heart out and reached out to me, and im sure you can understand the hardest thing to do is walk away.
And this is why i need advice and help on what to do as I dont believe this routine she has is good for lewis as his time with me is so short, I believe if he had more time with me he would settle down and be happier, and I know that if he had 3 seperate full weeks with me he would enjoy this and also in the long run would give him something to look forward to.
So i want to get 2 nights a week with him and at LEAST 3 full seperate weeks with him.
I love this little chap with all my heart and its killing me seeing him upset when i take him back, I have push biked 50 miles to see him i have slept in my car for two months to keep a job to buy christmas presents for him and to provide for him. i will do anything for him as he is what makes my heart beat, i just need to know what to do were to start, i have contacted a solicitor when she took him at three months and they said it would cost me between 5k and 10 k to sort out, and like most people now thats not reality.
There is so much more to this story but im going to read other peoples blogs to get info pleeease help if you can
many thanx richard and lewis
Hi Richard,
Your Story is like many I'm afraid.,
You sound like a very caring dad.
There are a few things you can do, the first thing I'd do is put in writing what you would like and send it recorded delivery to your ex, tell her you would like to discuss having Lewis more and that you are willing to try to do this between the 2 of you or if needed through mediation.
Keep the letter polite and professional don't get into blame or anything else, just explain what you would like and invite her her comment so you can start to talk about it, either through letter or face to face.
Within the letter tell her that if between the 2 of you your not able to reach an agreement that you are prepared to go to court for a court order to be made,don't use this as a threat but just let her know that you will go if needed.
Hopefully you can resolve this between you and it won't need court, but if you can't and have to apply to court you can represent yourself and we can talk you through that later if needed.
Darren
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