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Hi, My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship who is three years old, the relationship ended before she was born and we got together a few months after she was born. The mother of the child will not allow their daughter to come to our house as she does not want her to meet me or my two sons who are 4 and 6. At first the excuse for her not coming to our house was that she did not want her to get confused, which as a mother i completely unerstood, but now she is three and i still have not met her! i have not been getting involved as i think it's up to my husband and his ex to sort it out between themselves. It is getting beyond a joke now and everytime he brings it up she gets defensive an starts shouting. She has recently had her 5th child by yet another father and we stupidly thought it might change things but it hasn't. What can we do? Please help - Ann-Marie
Hi and welcome on here.
The first suggestion is to go for mediation to see if there is anything that can be done there, so your husband could suggest this to his ex to see if she is prepared to go to mediation.
If not, then he is looking to go to court to get a contact order (and while he's at it, seeking parental responsibility would probably be a good idea). Once he has this, unless there are concerns for his daughter's safety or wellbeing, then he can take his daughter where he wants, which includes your home. The court is certainly likely to want his daughter to know his wider family, which means you and your children.
I agree that mediation is one route to explore - it is difficult but is she really protecting the child or punishing her ex or you or both?
It is such a shame that you cant meet her but I would encourage you to persevere but I fear it will be a long difficult road
Good luck
- Samaritans – call 116 123
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