[Solved] i currently have the children 2 nights a week

Hi mate. Welcome to Dadtalk!

Sounds like a difficult situation. Have you checked some of the other threads and the advice given by the experts? I haven't got any experience in this area but we'll get someone (or some people) on here to answer your questions.

Hi Danss15

What you ex is saying is unreasonable, however not un common.

Any legal proffesional (and I'm not one I just talk from experience) will tell you that contact and child maintenance should never be discussed in the same conversation as they are 2 seperate issues. You are entitled to see your children for a fair amount of time even if you don't pay a penny, and on the flip side your are required to pay a fair amount of money even if you don't see your children.

How do you currently pay your ex? and how was the amount calculated?

Darren

i earn 600 and pay her 100, i have heard people say keep records of conversations im keeping txs are you allowed to record phone calls and conversations would this stand up in court i am surpose to have my 2 children sunday as i have for the last 4 months although im being theatened if i dont give £200 as oppose to the the usal 100 i carnt have them thanks again

Hi there,

Your right to keep everything in case it's needed I don't think recorded phone calls can be used in court though.

Have you checked the CSA calculator to see what you should be paying?

Hi,

I would say that if the case went through the CSA, you would be assessed for £120 (20%) based on two children, with a reduction of £17 for each 52 days per year (ie 1 day per week) that they stay with you - so, on 2 days, I would say that you should be paying £86, though if your ex reduces contact to 1 day, then it goes to £103.

I certainly would not give in to paying an extra £100 per month, as you need to live as well - if she isn't happy with what you are paying, you can suggest she asks the CSA to take the case - but she will not end up with any more, and may get less.

You cannot use phone recording in court generally unless your ex is aware that you are recording the call, so you can tell her that you are recording as soon as you start speaking to her (and needs to be each time).

If she is threatening to reduce contact, then you can go for a contact order, but I would suggest that you try mediation first.

yes i may try writing a letter getting my points down on paper inviting a reply and maybe be further expand on all reasonable concerns so i have something to show in writeing i dont think she will be expecting me to go through contact orders but i may get all the evidence i need to take it to that next level to make any case stronger for me but at the same time also keep txts then start with a recording of conversations but actually tell her id like to do it maybe she will then contradict her self and and raise question marks regarding credabilty should it indeed go that far? we are generaly on talking terms ??

also i have heard exes are entitled to a third of in come but at the same time 20 percent is also being bound around any idea which is the true figure thanks guys ...

i kind of feel blessed some fathers certanly seem to get an exceptionally hard time with visiting and over night access

I think the one third of income is for the original CSA cases (prior to 2003 I think). If it's a new case, then it would be 20% of takehome, but that will also change when the new regulations come in eventually.

new regulations you kidding me right

I keep reading the posts on these forums and as surprised as I should be it's just getting so common.

Only thing I would suggest is paying through the CSA and try keep the issues separate. Obviously she is like so many evil women... that use the kids as a cash crop! I would take money out of the story by going the CSA way. Any contact she has with you that she threatens you with access you should keep and take to court if that situation arises.

CSA Calculator = http://www.csacalculator.dsdni.gov.uk/calc.asp

Sounds like if you give in to her will only be a matter of time before she wants more and more. Maybe you should look into legal aid? Not sure if you will be entitled too it. Maybe someone else can fill that one in?

Anyway just my opinion I came to this site for advice too like yourself. Lots more experienced people on here to listen too but I hope it all works out for you.

new regulations you kidding me right

Unfortunately, I'm not.