[Solved] I need advise

Hi,

Have you spoken to your ex about increasing your time with your daughter? Have you sought any legal advice about this yet?

Hi

As SC has said above, the first step should be to see whether your ex is prepared to agree to additional contact, or if she'd go to mediation to resolve the matter.

Tried in the past! Says no cos if was 50 50 she recieves no money from me! She seems to think she has the god given right to dictate to me! She uses my baby girl as a weapon against me!!

I'm not sure how likely you are to get contact increased to 50% or more, the courts are generally happy to see contact increased, but going for more than 50%, you are looking at going for a residence order, and the courts generally don't want to change a child's residence unless there are welfare concerns regarding where they currently live, which doesn't sound like the case here. The courts certainly wouldn't be too happy with the idea of changing residence based on financial grounds I'm afraid.

Not about money from my point of view! I pay over the odds for my maintanence and will continue to do so until this is resolved. I not interested in money! And i don't want to change her residence ether. All i want is to see my daughter the same amount that she does! Its my ex who don't want it cos she would no longer be entitled to money from me apart from her school fees( uniform, trips etc).

There is nothing to stop you from making a private arrangement regarding maintenance irrespective of how many nights contact you have, which may persuade your ex to increase contact. If you are interested in this, we can ask our expert at Child Maintenance Options to give an opinion.

I was going to say, if your relationship with your ex is otherwise good, and this is just the one sticking point, then perhaps if you promise not stop the money, and not make the additional contact official, she may relent.

Asking for 50/50 may be a big step, particularly as there are only 7 days in a week, so I'd start by talking to her and asking for one extra day a week, and an occasional long weekend in school holidays. Reiterate that you want more time with your child, and that you have no problems with continuing to pay the money you do and ask to come to a personal compromise. You also could try taking a bigger hand in day to day events, offer to pick her up after school a couple of times a week and spend an hour or so with her, then take her home to your exes house. Maybe agree in advance on an occasional extra evening with your daughter to take her to the movies or to the park or something.

I think the real sticking point here is that it sounds like you want the 50/50 to be official, which comes with a change of status for everyone involved. Keeping things officially as they are, then just having some extra time agreed privately could well be the way forward

Understand though, that if you do this, she can stop it at any time, so you will need to keep up your end of any compromise you make, including always keeping the money going.