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[Solved] I need your advice on my rights as a father please

Eminent Member Registered

Hi concerned fathers,

I have a few questions that I require clarifications to. Let me start by giving you an insight into my story….I had a son with a Polish lady in 2018, a couple of weeks after the mum arrived from Poland to help us out, she and her mum left unannounced with my son of 6 weeks old. I got the Police involved and she was found at a refuge home with my son, claiming she is no longer interested in the relationship; fine, but I want contact with my son.

She refused all efforts towards mediation and I was forced to approach the Court. She made series of allegations in Court including that I abuse cannabis, cocaine and domestic violence. I volunteered for drug test which came back absolutely negative. CAFCASS also investigated her allegations of DM and found it to have no substance.

After 13 months and £15k out of pocket, I was granted a Court order with a parenting plan. Due to the age of my son, I have been taking it slow and steady with her but we have now built a bond.

My ex appear to be sore at the fruitless ness of her efforts and the bond my son and I have continued to build.

Recently I asked her that I want to take my son to Church once a week (he doesn’t start to spend over nights with me until he is two or so). She initially agreed and suddenly pulled back insisting that I must give her my Church`s address. I refused. I told her my son is my responsibility when he`s with me just as he is her responsibility when with her and I find it controlling of her to be asking me for my Church`s address as I don’t ask for address of places she takes him to.

I have requested for his medical records and GP address and told her I want to go to his next appointments, considering he has been to the hospital and GP quite often recently. She categorically told me she will not share it and that sharing it is her prerogative.

I am sure neither parent has exclusive right to child’s records, medical School etc. Please note that I have no knowledge of his medical record since we separated over a year ago.

I am very keen to know my son`s GP and have access to his medical record and be fully part of my son`s life. As she has refused, what line of action can I take to get access to my son`s medical record and know his GP address. (Please note that there is no restraining order and I was cleared of all spurious allegations she made in Court)

Though I do not know her address, I am not willing to know as I have moved on and want her to move on as well.

Topic starter Posted : 28/02/2020 7:07 pm
Estimable Member Registered

Hi there,

In short, in the absence of safe-guarding concerns, you are fully entitled to be involved with medical and (when it becomes relevant) educational aspects of your child. Some mothers seem to think it's within their gift whether they 'allow' this to happen. This simply isn't true. If she remains resistant, then you may have to go through the mediation process again, and on to court again for this to be rectified, as I'm not sure which other way you will find out which GP surgery is being used.

I obtained a court order when my son was 4, which also mentioned I had the right to be involved and included in both educational and medical matters, and presented this order at both doctors' and school, and that ended the barriers I'd previously had to deal with in both these areas. Some GPs and schools are behind the times and think that they only have to deal with the mothers, and are still needing to be challenged on this.

Posted : 29/02/2020 3:41 am
Eminent Member Registered

Thanks a lot for the detailed response.


Topic starter Posted : 29/02/2020 4:30 am
Illustrious Member


yes a lot of mothers turn into controlling weirdos in these situations. if i were you, i would just give her church address.

Posted : 01/03/2020 11:43 pm

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