[Solved] I really need help 🙁

To add to this she is the kind of person who would accuse me of having a drinkning problem... WHICH I DO NOT HAVE!

Im a 28 year old, who prior to having my child was out every night enjoying life. Since the birth I have had some sociable drinks (wet the babies head\sociable drinks on a friday after work) but nothing like before.

She could really take this to the extreme and im terrified.

Im quitting going out any more so she cant use it as a weapon, but this is scaring the life out of me.

Hi,

It is a hard situation.

From someone who tried to stick with it "for the sake of the child" - don't.

Bite the bullet before it goes massively sour. For two years I was with my ex before we split up and it nothing for me as a person, I put weight on comfort eating and lost my drive for everything and yet I didn't want to end it because of my son. I realise now that this was a mistake, I will help him more showing him that I love him and that no-one has to be with someone they don't love. The last thing you want is to end up staying with someone you hate, you can be sure that she will end up the same and begin to use the child if that happens.

If you can stay civil and on a level where you both do what you can for your son then things should be ok.

The last thing you want is to let your child be bought up in a loveless relationship. If you can separate "nicely" then do it.

Be prepared for your worst nightmares to come true - i lost my son for 10 weeks because my ex didn't like the fact that i had moved on (despite her already having done so) but i followed the rules and regs and it is all working out well. My son knows that i love him very much and loves to come and see me whenever he can.

Good luck

Vaz

do the brave thing ....
admit you cant work together....
but agree you can work apart for your son
you dont need PR you get that if you are on your son's BC (he was born after 2003 wasn't he?)
So both be adults admit it did not work out between you long term (long before you end up hating each other) but work together (apart) for the one great thing you two will always have....
YOUR SON

Yes my boy was born 6 weeks ago, and i am on the BC. what do you mean by PR?
she told me she wanted me to leave for a few weeks last night which means i wont see his face each night.

i was willing to sacrifice my happiness for the sake of my son, but your right.. they arent stupid and will pick up on it.

spoke to my solicitor, he said to start making payments to her bank.. basically that i need to stand in the dark and shine a light in the face of the devil.. be brave and dont show weakness.

Hi There,

PR means perental responsibility,

Leaving when your son is staying will be very dificult, but it is something it sounds as though you need to do it as staying for him won't work either and he will suffer.

Leaving while the 2 of you are amicable and can talk will help loads too as you should be able to resolve any issues without fighting.

Darren

Ever heard the saying .. a drunken mans words are a sober mans thoughts...

well she came home last night and really ripped into me.. i mean she went mental..

saying that i dont love her and im only there for the kid and that she can do this without me, i dont need you and neither does your boy...

I have honestly not done anything worng here, i pay the bills, put food on the table and we want for nothing.. but shes right i do not love her...

simply cant stand to lose my lad, and from what she was saying last night... thats exactly what will happen if i was to leave the house..

seriously i dont have any rights or anything here.. and im completely stuck

your not stuck at all, if you need to leave then you need to leave you can't be made to feel guilty and stay as you will do no good for your child yourself or even her.

You have rights to see your child and your child has rights to see you, try and talk to her when y=things are calm and see if you can talk about you leaving and how things may work.

If you aren't able to work it out yourself the you can try mediation, and there is always court in case that doesn't work out for you.

You have options don't be made to feel guilty for not loving someone.

Darren

Well take it from me you are doing the right thing ! I was in your situation for eight years and it drained the life out of me.But I give you a cautionary tale you stated you used to like a "drink" umm nothing wrong with that. But if you feel this might be used against you stop ! stop now! Moderate it too say two pints a week and stick to it !!!! If and I sincerely hope for your sake you don't have to go to court this will no doubt be used against you ! Since you show signs of concern by even mentioning it here ! So stop now !! While going through this difficult situation it's easy to spend too much time in the pub to escape but don't it's not the answer and will come back and bight you! Cafcass and the court will have you believe they are all T total and the courts expect a higher level of sobriety than they would have. So be careful if you think this will be used against you then stop! Good luck move on,move up and be the best dad you can.