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Hi All Ive just joined because im a little worried.
My partner (32) is pregnant with my first child but her 2nd and she still lives at home with her parents (mother is very controlling and imtimidating she is very much the dominant one of the family).
Its all very new to me (40) but i know its quite normal for some pregnant women to have mood swings but is it normal for some women to push their partners away when they are pregnat with their child ?
The reason i ask this is because im not sure if my partner still wants to be with me or not.
We work at the same place doing a 4 on 4 off night shift i start at 7 doing 12 hours and she starts at 11 doing 8 hours. When i first speak to her at work she seems angry with me and then turns her back on me she just won't talk to me but talks to people she is working with. As the night gos on she seems to be less moody and starts speaking to me a little. On rest days when she is at home she completley ignores my texts and phone calls to the point she turns off her phone and as the pregnancy gos further she gets worst towards me our relationship is nearly non existencing. When i ask her if she still wants to be together she says yes but her behavour towards me makes me feel like she dos'nt.
Am i being paranoid or is this common in pregnant women ?
Thanks for Reading and advice
Steve
hi Steve,
It's a tricky one to answer as everyone is different, and with your partner living with a controlling mother, it's certainly not going to help. I certainly remember my ex distancing herself when she was pregnant (more than normal 😆 ) so I can understand what you are going through. It's important that you both continue to talk. Hopefully other dads will pop on here and post their experiences, and advice to help.
Hi Steve,
Thanks for being so honest. It sounds very hard for you right now & confusing. I can understand why you want to know where you stand.
It's not unusual for women to go through mood swings in pregnancy & I have known women to distance themselves from their partner. You may find it helpful to buy or get a book from the library about what to expect during the pregnancy & when your baby arrives and/or check related posts on DadTalk.
Have you tried arranging time to chat together? In my limited experience I've found it helps to get away from it all & chat through some of the things you've noticed. Questions, in my experience, work out better than accusations when trying to resolve things. Here's some things that I might try if I was in your situation:
- Go out to a nice restaurant or a place you both like to go
- Ask her how she's doing & how she's finding the pregnancy
- Ask her how she sees the future for you as a couple & your child
- Share where you are at and what your hopes are
These are just ideas & hopefully you'll get some others too! Hope it goes well. Let us know what you decide to do & how it goes.
Springchicken
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