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my ex has stopped me seeing my children and left me with nothing,
we have been on and off for the past year but this christmas i really thought that it was going to last forever. We were back on track and everything was great, untill i got to work one day and she tx me saying it was over without any reason. at first i just kept my head down and got on with life, she let me see the girls when ever i wanted (within reason) and we had decided my stuff would stay there till i had found somewhere to live.
within 2 weeks of this happening i started seeing less of the children and when i asked why it was because she said i drank around them when i had them stay over so i could only see them in the day, now this is not true and i dont know where she got it from.
in this time i became very close to an old school friend and we started going on dates. my ex found out and stopped all contact saying it was because i was a raving alcoholic and a threat to my children, i would rather go through agonyising pain for the rest of eternity then harm one hair on their heads. two days after she found out she came round on her own and we got chatting and she wanted me back, for the next week i saw her and the girls everyday while we discussed our options. in the end i came to the conclussion we were better off apart for us and' the children. since then i havent seen the girls once
i have done everything i can think of, i cant afford a solicitor and not a eligable for legal aid. i tried going through a mediator but she said we would not agree on nothing, it was supervised visits only with someone who is trained. i rang social servicies to see if they could help but they pointed me back to solicitors. please if anyone can think of something else please please let me know
Hi
You need to get a contact order, so you are going to need to go to court, since you've already tried mediation. Have a chat with the childrens legal centre about the process, and for any advice they can give. It will cost you £200 as a one off cost to go to start the court proceedings and you can represent yourself.
Your ex is obviously very bitter about the fact that you are moving on with your life, and is using the children as a way of getting back at your.
One important thing - keep a diary of everything that happens - conversations, texts, emails etc, and do it straight away, rather than try to remember a conversation a week after it happens.
Hi wtd,
You appear to be in a terrible position mate. I have asked the Childrens Legal Centre to pop by and give you some of their great child law advice.
Hang in there mate.
Gooner
Dear Sir,
There are usually two options available when a parent is being restricted access from his or her children. The first option is to negotiate and the other would be applying for a contact order.
Negotiate with the mother:
The court will want to see that you have attempted to negotiate with the mother of the children to some extent and mediation often provides a successful avenue. You can contact national family mediation on 01392 271610 for further information. In addition, you could write to her requesting that you attempt mediation or negotiate through some other means. This may provide you with evidence or trying to resolve the matter outside of realms of court.
Apply for a contact order:
A contact order is where the court will decide what access and under what conditions you should have with your children. They will decide what is in the child’s best interest using the welfare checklist. This will create a legally binding order enforceable against the mother of the children if awarded by the courts, and in most cases the courts facilitate contact unless there are exceptional reasons not to.
You can represent yourself and could start by visiting the HMCS website to download the C100 application form. Additionally, you can download guidance notes called CB1 and CB3. There is a £200 fee for making the application which covers the proceedings.
The court process will consist of a directions hearing where the judge will decide what steps are required and it will give an opportunity for the court to do fact finding. This will be followed by the final hearing allowing the parties to put forward their proposals and objections. The whole process can take 6 to 12 months, however the court has discretion to make interim decisions to allow contact whilst the case proceeds.
If you have any further question you can contact us on 0808 802 0008.
Kind Regards,
THE CHILDREN’S LEGAL CENTRE
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