[Solved] My daughter has chosen to live with me

Hi,

Are you planning to apply for custody of your daughter? Do you have a solicitor involved yet? The fact that your daughter wants to live with you should make it easier if you are wanting to get permenant custody of her. I hope your daughter is doing well now she's with you.

yes i am , she turner up at my door last night at 11.30pm demanding to take my daughter home, i tried to ignore her but she started rattling the letter box and knocking the door . The dogs were going mad and myself and my wife asked her to move she refused .
so we ended up calling the police , they arrived at 12.05am in morning .
So one officer came in and spoke to me and the other stayed outside and spoke to her. after explaing the situation i showed him the letter showing the proof that she handed my daughters rights to claim benefits to me and her care also.
She told the officer outside that i was,nt her father lol , so i informed them she had recent social services involvement and the officer speaking to me did a check on this.
It came to light that social services had major concerns regarding her mental health , the police have had enough at this point , and started filling domestic incident form but when the officer got half way thru , he said theres no point in this , so i will fill in the basic details and a incident number.
They told her to remove herself from my property and my daughter is safe with me , and informed them that social services were involved and advised her to obtain legal advice .
I,m going for a residence order , parental responsibility , and the right to be put on my daughters birth certificate.

Hi and welcome.

Seems to me that you don't really need advice, simply because you have done, or are in the process of doing everything that we'd suggest on here 🙂

Well done on how you handled the situation last night, that was exactly the right thing to do, and if she turns up again, call the police again and let them deal with it.

Actually, one thing you didn't mention, which I would suggest is that when you apply for the residence orders, etc, I'd go for a prohibited steps order to stop her from coming to your house - that way if she turns up, it's not just a breach of the peace and that gives the police a much easier job of removing her.

Do you have a solicitor or are you representing yourself?

i,m in process of seeing one on the 2nd of july , i have also been keeping a log of incidents , as and when they happen including logging the phone calls and txts .
including how my daughter feels about the situation , and my daughter has been opening up to me regarding things that she has witnessed

Even though you are on top of it all, if you haven't already done so, have a read of yoji's guides at the top of the legal section. Even though you are seeing a solicitor, it will give you a good idea of the process.

One thing I will warn you of, though, is that even with a case that is pretty clear cut, if your ex is determined to make it difficult, you can end up racking up a substantial legal bill.

i,m currently receiving legal aid , so i,m pretty much covered in that department
the mother has had a lot of social services involvement all through my daughters life either directly or indirectly , the last one being last march she took a nervous breakdown and ended up in a mental health ward , which social services stepped in to remove all her kids and place them in care . but her mother stepped in and saved her bacon again , her mother moved in and they were placed on a 6month surpervision order.
When the police contacted a.d.t in my presence they said that the social services had concerns regarding the mothers mental health problems .

ah, legal aid will help enormously. I'm not sure if there are limitations, so it may be worth considering doing a lot of work yourself to cut down on the amount that the solicitor does - it's something you can suggest and talk through with your solicitor if you want to consider it.

As you are in the position of having your daughter reside with you, with the blessing of social services, the slower the process is, the better it is for you as the courts are reluctant to move a child once they are settled (aside from any other factors). While I wouldn't suggest that you do anything to interfere with the normal process, I wouldn't be inclined to do anything to speed it along, assuming you are getting child benefit paid to you.

in process of doing so sent all the paperwork off , being over a week now .
can you believe my daughters grandmother was using her dla to pay of her car finance lol , can,t believe it
just gonna log everything from txts to phone call threats etc

Hi just read your post and I have a similar sittuation ,,

Daughter is 13 nearly 14 I do not have parental responsibility but she has informed me that she is really struggling at home and wants to come and live with me ,, I believe she could turn up at my door any day or moment ..

Contact with me and her mother is not good , I don't have her mothers contact details ..

Question is who do I call if she turns up ?.. Do I have to give her back to her mom do I call the police ?

Thanks

i was told from the age of 14 a child can make their own mind up who they choose to live with , but the problem being she is still 13 but i suppose if she understands what she,s asking regardless of the age she can still request to stay with you.
The police can,t remove her from your home unless there is welfare concerns or daughter is at risk of harm , but other than that its a legal matter and the police can,t get involved.
if you,re ex turns up it then becomes a domestic incident and even at that she can,t remove the child from you,re home againest her will.
get legal advice asap and a apply for a residency order , parental responsibility etc the sooner the better

Thanks for the advice ... That answers my questions really as I was worried that police involvement could upset everything were doing ...

I have my c100 and fm1 all ready to take to court this week I will be filing for pr and residency order ,,,

So if she does turn up I should probably contact her mother then if the mother won't talk to me and turns up at my house causing an argument I should then call the police ?

But probably best to go directly to court tommorow morning and file documents ?

One last question if my daughter does turn up would it be best for me to contact the school and ask for a day of to get some stuff sorted with her

Thanks lee

he best to do is go personally to the school speak to her head of year or even the headmaster , explain the circumstances to them and state u have welfare concerns for your daughter and in the event of her coming over to live with you.
Also mention to them that you don,t want the mother removing your child from school without your consent , as there is a possibility that she might try and collect her either during or after school .and mention to your daughter that if her mother turns up at school then go to the head of year and wait for you to collect her personally .

Hi Woody

I'd be careful about contacting the school at this stage - if you don't have PR, then the school probably won't speak to you as it could land them in a whole world of trouble - legally, I believe you have no right at all to ask for a day's leave. At this stage, you need to be complying with the law as anything else will make your case more difficult.

Hey how's your case going do you still have your daughter with you ?

My daughter arrived last Tuesday ,, I informed her mother straight away but she still reported her as missing person to the police ,,, the police were great and spoke to my daughter on a regular basis ..

For the first time in 13 years I have had a sensible conversation with her mother in front of our child ,,,some interesting parts were that my daughter has been playing up at school this is beacouse she was told she would be sent to live with me if she was naughty !,, also my daughter has told her mother that she feels uncomfortable at home in front of her step dad this is why she always goes to her bedroom !

I've been luck enough to agree that my daughter stays with me for a few weeks ,, I have to admit she has brought a smile back to my life and I'm enjoying being a dad ,, today was the first time in our life that I made her sandwiches ,,, happy days

Hope yours is also going well

By this I mean sandwiches for school .. I've never been allowed to take her to school ...

well done mate , well my daughter is still here and she is really happy
had a few nasty texts of the mother thou saying she is going to get me done for grooming her and stuff like ,lol how sick eh , she has even moved house without giving a forwarding address. and my daughter asked her for it and she refused lol.
also spoke to my solicitor today and i have a very good case , but i need the address of were the mother lives so my lawyer can send the letters what a chew.
when the going gets tough she flees always been the same , everytime she is investigated she runs