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I have a 2 year old Daughter who will be 3 soon, overnight contact has happened for a year and a half on Saturday and Friday till Sunday was introduced 3 months ago. My ex has now stopped overnight contact and I just get 6 hours on a Saturday. I have another Daughter who is 5 and have contact on a Saturday till Sunday morning. Her reason for only giving me 6 hours and no overnight contact is that our 2 year old is distant for about an hour or so after I drop her off on Sunday morning and she is not happy that she is influenced by her elder sister. Last Saturday I took both my Daughters swimming and my 2 year old said "Daddy hit me", I looked at her and my 5 year old daughter looked at her and I said "I am no where near you", I have never smacked any of my daughters I find it is enough just to use my voice when correcting them. I told my 2 year old that I would never hit her and carried on. Later that evening my 2 year old said "I'm not happy" and then followed by saying her older sister was grumpy. When I asked her why she said this she said mummy told me. I have applied for a contact order so that the normal Friday till Sunday morning is re-instated, Clearly my ex is brain washing my 2 year old in preperation for any up comming inteviews. The action I took is just to tell my 2 year old that what she is saying is not true, is there anything else I can do in the mean time ? I will be telling CAFCAS what happened as I believe this is the start of mental abuse.
In my opinion, what you have done, and are doing is exactly the right thing to do. Cafcass should be aware that this will happen to some extent (let's face it, even if there isn't deliberate brainwashing, a child is going to be receptive the the resident's parents views), so informing Cafcass of any conversations that may have happened gives them help in asking the right questions - Cafcass are experienced in dealing with children and getting past what the parents want them to say. In a way, you ex may be doing you a favour - if your daughter tells Cafcass what she has told you, it will go into their report, and give added weight to any argument you make in court.
Keep a written note of all conversations you have with your daughter as soon as you can and give a copy of these to Cafcass - that way nothing is forgotten.
Thanks for your reply. I have been here before but the thing that really gets to me is the fact that when you describe your situation to your solicitor, the first words out of their mouth is that it is likely that the court won't allow you access overnight straight the way. Now since the court doesn't know me from adam and eve how can that be ?, it just says that straight the way that nothing has changed since the last time I was in court fighting to see my other daughter. What the mother wants is granted straight the way and you are just a carboard cut out who is thrown to the wall. In the meantime waiting for a court date the mother can dictate what she wants and even stop any contact as she see's fit.
Hi my daughter sounds like she is in a similar situation to yours. I have just replied to a post about children being used as ammunition. I have to keep a diary all comments that my daughter chirps out and her attitude etc when with her Mum. I agree that this will only add weight to your case. I also agree that cafcass do know what type of comments are indicative of your childs age.
You can always spot "the otherside's" views, by the way the comment is phrased! I always get "mummy told me" "mummy told me to say that" "mummys says". I just ignore these comments, change the subject as I don't want my daughter to feel pressured or that she'll get into trouble for making such statements. I tell my daughter that when cafcass interview her she tells them how "she feels" not how the parents feel or want them to say. Keep your chin up, I am sure your daughters will be inspired by your strength and commitment, routine and love and not forgetting "hugs daddy"...... 🙂
Hi,
I'm going through the same if not worse. It got to the stage where the police removed my daughter from her bed in my home . I have not seen her now since 11th May 2012 and police are now investigating me all because the mother knows the law will ALWAYS back her. I now have to live with this on my police record for the rest of my living life and also having to declare this when I go for enhanced CRB and I know I will find it hard getting a really good job.
I'm a british army infantry veteran of 9 yrs service and suffer from PTSD. Childs mother knows this and because I ignore her the only way she can get at me is emotionally by way of not letting my daughter see me. My 4yr old helps with my therapy by being around me and not making me feel that I'm alone .
I don't see no end to this .
I know that the police want follow this up as malicious when it's over because they too are against the fathers .
ANYWAYZ - Hi an now Bye :-p
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