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well just like to say im a dad to 3 lovely children, i split with ex about 3 year ago, dont know what happened but the kids mother changed put her self 1st had all night parties, etc mother was prosecuted for noise all electric equipment removed thats when environmental health called to the kids home and found appauling living conditions for my children, i had the kids on a visit at the time i did not know what was going on at home with the kids as there behavour had changed, mum was evicted and went to move in with her mam and kids, ss came to see me told me they were going to do a section 7 etc and it all led in my favour with recommendation of mum getting kids 1 night a week, 1 of the children was not my bio DD but i was there before she was born, never had PR but wanted kids all to stay together, so my ex barrister played a bargaining card where i could keep all 3 kids if mum got a shared residence order of 3 nights, sadly and regretably i agreed (but then again i couldnt do nothing else, i wanted kids to be together and was concerned for my bio DD) she is 5 and doesnt know im not her BD..
anyway mum still neglects the kids, the kids were sick from school but she went out left the kids with a sitter and went out with her new BF, this weekend she collects the kids from school thursday has to travel on 2 buses, put them in frid picks them up from school takes them to her sis leaves them goes out again with her BF collects them from her sisters and takes them to her mothers the kids sleep there then i pick them up sunday 10. 30 so out of her 3 days contacts she has them 1 night the rest she is with her BF. now on frid night she is arguing with her BF in town centre they get arrested, handcuffed put in a cell until 6oclock next morning and both 80pound fines, my kids havent met her bf as they are not allowed in the sitting room or bedroom if he is there then sunday morn he picks kids up from her mams in his car with no car seats...it is a complete shambles and dont know how this can still continue when ss are watching her, they went to see her about it this morning she admitted it but there saying because the kids were not there then there is nothing they can do, how can they continue to let this happen after 2 year, there were 47 photoes taking when ss 1st became involved a judge has never seen these photoes, ss have to do an amendum report to the S7 and i want these photoes included, i just feel if it was me doing all these things then i would be having supervised visits but with it being mum she gets away with it,
i have proof off FB and text messages to confirm her statement is all lies but will the courts let me use this evidence i dont know any one have any advise for me would be much appreciated, thant you
Hi Dean
Your ex partner's off the rails behaviour sounds like a disaster. That must be tough seeing and fearing your kids exposed to irresponsible behaviour. You're most likely correct that SS & system will favour ongoing time with mum as that will be of value to the kids even if she behaves irresponsibly. It sounds like you're doing all you can to keep records of what's happening. The key in my view is to focus as much as you can on your time with the kids. You've got a lot of normality to make up in the time you have with them. My personal advice for what it's worth is to keep focussed on being a great father and provide a secure and stable environment for your kids to take refuge. Kids value stability and certainty. If you give them that gift they'll stay well grounded.
HTH
Hi Dean,
welcome to DadTalk mate.
Just finished reading your post and because social services are involved - i could ask the Family Rights Group to pop by and offer you some advice if you like.
Gooner
Hi Dean and Spender 400 and welcome to the forum.
Dean can you clarify what orders, if any are in place as I'm not completely clear what the legal position is. Cracking advice spender, I look forward to hearing more from you, both advice to other dads and you own experiences. 🙂
Hello Dean
I am an adviser at Family Rights Group. We advise parents and other family members who are in touch with children’s services (new name for social services). One of the Dad’s Talk administrators asked to see if we could offer you any advice.
First of all, I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. You’re clearly really concerned about your children.
Unfortunately, we’re probably not the best agency to give you detailed advice as your situation relates to private law. This means the courts are involved with your children because of disagreement between you and your ex (rather than public law where children’s services had made applications to the court themselves)
Although children’s services are involved with your children, it sounds as though this is only because the court has instructed them to write a section 7 report. Is this right? Do children’s services have any involvement with the children other than writing reports for the court proceedings? Do the children have “child in need†plans for example or are they subject to child protection plans? Do post back if either of these are the case as we can certainly advise you about these issues.
With regards the current court case, am I right in thinking you are applying for a change to the current arrangements? It sounds as though children’s services do share some of your concerns about your ex’s care of the children so, hopefully, their amendum section 7 report will reflect this and favour you in terms of any recommendations for new residence arrangements.
I wonder if you have a solicitor/ barrister supporting you at the moment? They would certainly be the best people to advise you as they will have a detailed knowledge of your circumstances. The children’s legal centre may also be able to offer some useful advice.
As I said above, please do post back with any specific questions about the role/ responsibilities of children’s services.
I wish you all the best with your situation and hope that things are resolved for the best ASAP.
FRG Advisor
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