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Hi all,
I have a son who is 9 on his birthday to an x girlfriend, we split up when he was just under a year old. Shortly after she dissapeared not telling anyone where she had gone, changed her car, phone numbers ,etc. i eventually found her about 5 months later living with another man 15miles from where we used to live. I posted my sons belated birthday card through her door and a letter threatening to take her to court unless she reinstated access, she agreed and i was reunited with my son and was delighted to find he recognized me and held out his little arms whe he first saw me again. i have enjoyed access and holidays ever since.
I travelled 300 miles every two weeks for the first 3yrs to maintain contact, then moved 15miles from where they live. in nearly 8yrs i have never missed a visit, or holidays , in fact i have done a few extra weekends in between my usual access when they needed me.Once i was stuck in traffic for 20 mins and she refued me accesss cause i was late.
She has allways rammed it down my throat that i dont have parental rights as the law didnt change in Scotland untill 2006.
when my son started school she registered him with her maiden name instead of my surname.when i objected she said i have no rights. i then phoned the school and explained the situation and she said there was nothing she can do unless i have parental rights.
I fell out again with her and said that my son wants my name and will come and live with me when he is old enough. her response was to raise a residence order, to which i applied for PR, we basically did a deal and both were granted by the court.
Long story i know but the question is can i go to the school now and express my sons desire to be called my surname instead of his mums maiden name. my son has allways known his real surname and says everyone at school knows it. His mother recently scored out my surname from a fathers day card telling him off not to use it ever again. He has since asked if i can go to school and get it sorted.
My sons motherhas since married and has another child.My son now has a different surname to his siblingan mother anyway.
hi and welcome very intresting reading
can i ask are you on his birth certificate?
im going throu court for a simiular thing at the min and my sons about the same age im not on his birth cert now if you are and his name on the birth cert is yours then he should be named that in school anythink legal really
Hi
I'm not sure about the situation with the surname in Scotland - it would be worth having a word with the Scottish Child Law centre - www.sclc.org.uk/ as the CCLC can't advise on Scottish Law.
Hi minty, thanks for taking the time to reply.
Yes my name is on the original birth certificate, i have a copy that was issued to me from the office we both registered him at, i believe it was issued sept 2005 to me not long after i found him again.
thanks
Hi actd thanks for that will have a look.
We gave our son her maiden name as i middle name with my surname, she basically dropped my name of the end and replaced with her maiden name as the surname.
thanks
OK, that will probably help, but with the difference in law, the SCLC are best placed to advice, but please post back here on how you get on.
HI actd
I spoke to a nice lady at The Scottish child law centre, she advised me that in scotland a mother can legally change a name if the registration was before dec 2006.
She says that because my son has a strong connection to me and is allready expressing a desire to be known as the same surname as me and with the support of the head teacher,that we were ahead of the game,but legally can only force her to change it back in court. although she should be taking our sons feelings into concideration even at the tender age of 8.
She also said a child can request being called what he wants when he starts secondary shool.
I think it might be one of those times where you consider whether it's worth the fight in court. Although it's annoying that she has changed his name now, if you win in court, she may convince herself that it's the court making a bad judgement and your son has to live with that, whereas if you wait and your son chooses your surname at secondary school, she would have to admit she got it wrong.
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