Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi my names Tom,
I'm going to be a new dad soon and to be very truthful im bricking it, as it also turns out i'm going into the army and leaving my girlfriend to deal with the pregnancy and maybe the birth, i'm trying to do everything i can and get everything ready for when the little one comes along but i dont feel like i'm doing enough, how do i know my girlfriend and little one are going to have everything they need and what happens if they need anything and im not there, HELP
Hi Tom,
Wow, congrats mate first off. Your first child and joining the army - man you don't do things by half do you.
Do your parents and your girlfriends parents live in the same area as your girlfriend ? Grand parents can be a great source of support for new mums. You'll be surprised how much grand parents want to be involved after the birth.
i dont feel like i'm doing enough
We all feel like that mate and the feeling never goes away (even when your kids are in their teens).
Tell us some more about yourself mate (like how old are you and your girlfriend ? ).
Gooner
Hi Tom,
Welcome to the site and congrats on your news.
I understand how you feel mate, my wife is expecting another in November this year (we already have 2) and I'm always having moments of "bricking it" 🙄 but it's natural mate. It's a big chance in your life, not to mention joining the army and having to leave them.
What kind of allocation do you get from the army for time off when the baby arrives? Do you get normal paternity leave etc etc? Not sure how these things work but it's worth finding out.
The other main thing you can do is talk to your partner, no doubt you'll find out she feels exactly the same at times and between you both you can talk about what provisions need to be made, how you can help her, both emotionally and physically and how you can bond with the baby.
In essence, dont worry mate, we all feel the same at times, welcome to being a dad 😆
I'm 22 years old and my girlfriend is 19, we are both very young and from what you might of guessed, this wasnt planed but as it turned out we thought it best to keep the little one and have both got very excitd about it, i don't know about the leave as im in training at the time, and its the most important training, my girlfriend (jade) is only about 3 months gone but so many things have hit me at once and im just feeling lost
Hi there
Congratulations on both the job and the imminent arrival.
Yes it is scary and you will that you are not doing enough - as Gooner says that will never change, but remember you being there and loving your partner and child and enjoying being a dad is worth more than lots of other token gestures.
I hope it all goes well and look forward to hearing updates
Stay in touch
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.