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Hi all, hope this doesn't bore you or sound too bitter, but here goes.
I'm just about to go to court for Shared Residence (her appeal) and Contact Order (my appeal) hearings.
By way of background, throughout the 8 months that we've been using solicitors, I have been bombarded by both letters from her solicitor and texts from herself, accusing me of things that simply aren't true. All of these things obviously put me in a really bad light, and her in a good light. The most hurtful one, and the one that I suspect will have the most impact in court, is my threatening to not return my son following contact and actually not returning him at the agreed time on other occasions. As I say, this is absolutely not true. She did call the police on one of these supposed occasions when, in truth, I was doing exactly what we had agreed. The only "crime" I may have committed is not responding to her insistent texts asking when I would return my son. The truth is, I'd replied to the exact same text a couple of hours earlier so felt harrassed by her persistence.
It does look as though she and her solicitor are making out that this is proof of my failure to comply with our agreement. Oh yeah, and her solicitor accepts everything she says as gospel; I should know, I spoke to the weasel once and he almost came straight out and accused me of these things. I'm sure you all know the type.
In fact, I've got a couple of questions:
1. Is it down to me to prove this didn't happen, or down to her to prove that it did? (I'm assumin that an accusation and a police visit on the strength of that accusation are not enough proof)
2. More worrying, will the judge simply believe her accusations without giving me a chance to respond?
I realise I sound desparate, but it is looking like it's down to me to prove my innocence.
Many thanks for reading.
Cheers
Hi craig, story's like this are becoming more and more frequent when your in court you really need to try and prove anything you can never delete messages save all letters record phone conversations and use anything and everything you can to prove she's lieing or twisting the truth. If it was just a one off isolated insodent it shouldn't make an overall difference in court but it also depends on the judge women tend to side with women and vice versa. A ggod judge will listen to both sides and make there own mind up. Best of luck
I've only had experience of the judges in the family court division of the London Court of Justice, but I had both men and women judges and in every case, they listened to the arguments, and non of them sided with my ex - when they first came in, a lot of them looked like they should be in convalescent homes, but it never amazed me just how sharp their minds were, and how fast they got straight to the salient points.
In the case you have quoted - do you have copies of the texts? It seems to me that if you answered the question to her text, then ignoring a later text asking you exactly the same question is perfectly justified - the time you have contact with your son is supposed to be quality time, and if she is spoiling that with constant harrassment, then I'd certainly bring this up in court - ask your solicitor whether it's something that could be addressed in a prohibited steps order - that will change the emphasis of the case, as well as giving you some peace when you are with your son.
Many thanks for this advice. I do have copies of the texts, both on my phone(s) and in transcribed documents (although I'm not sure how admissible these would be). That's particularly interesting about the prohibited steps order, as it would perfectly suit the situation. To be honest, anything that would show up her blatant lying is something that I'd take on board.
The texts are usually admissible (make sure they are transcribed letter perfect, and every single text, so the court doesn't think you are being selective - you can bring certain texts to their attention), and then you have them on the phone (and back them up) if your ex says that she didn't text etc.
I'm not 100% about the Prohibited Steps order, but it does seem appropriate - I would definitely discuss it with your solicitor to see if you can turn the case around, so you're not always having to be defensive.
Transcribing the texts is becoming a chore (there are over 8,000, both ways over the last 4 years) but, having said that, it's pretty cathartic as I do like to think they'll make a difference. Thanks for all the advice. If I can offer somebody else in my position something from my experience then I certainly shall.
Depending on your phone, there may be apps to allow you to save them to a file, or at least copy and paste them.
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