[Solved] new user

Hi Gavin,

Welcome to the site, there are plenty on here who know what your going through so make sure you tap into all the experience on here.

Also join in the general chat too and if your any good at general knowledge check out the this quiz as we aren't having any luck at answering the questions Lol

http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/forum/jokes-gadgets-and-games/11108-new-year-quiz

Darren

Hi and welcome.

Yep, plenty on here know what you're going through so you're not alone.

Hi there and welcome

There will be many people who have gone through what you are at the moment, there will be some who haven't but that will listen - if you are prepared to talk.

Sometimes is is good just to have a sympathetic ear.

Anyway join in

thanks for the welcome guys much appreciated ill check out the quiz lol but to be honest i wouldnt hold too much hope im what they call ............ unedumacted or something like that lololol.

my problem half the time is i dont shut up, too be honest ive found this site very late on in the process final hearing end of feb! thank goodness is all i can say cos its been a long road. ill try give you bit of info any advice be greatly appreciated and like wise if i can help anyone then thats a bonus!

ok so i have a son aged 10 with a previous partner when she left me she took my son 5 at the time i had next to no rights and not really a leg to stand on! the anger and depression took hold and next thing im acting wrongly. i went after the new boyfriend and tried to take my own life. courts took the decision to stop me seeing my son untill i received treatment.

i then met my current ex i moved from east anglia to north wales and we had 2 little girls 3 and 2 things were ok (there had been 1 or 2 arguments) but after she fell pregnant with the 2nd it went haywire. i was constantly accussed of cheating with people in local village people half way across country and even her best friend from school. there were a few "incidents" hairbrush thrown at my head phone thrown at face towering over me with a saucepan in each hand. during these "incidents and arguments" id try to leave and she would block my exit, too get out id have to grab and move her id then go stay at her folks overnight (seeing my familys 5 hours away). all this time she would sit in chatrooms online ..................... im saying nothing!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway we split early 2010 and she moved i moved here to be nearer to kids and had regular contact which turned into us trying again this didnt work and we split aug 2010 less than 2 weeks later she had a new bloke and was sending me texts saying hes a better dad than me etc.

i kept my cool and as much as it hurt i stayed away and didnt react! QUICK NOTE OF ADVICE - An angry mind is a narrow mind!

apr 2011 i receive a call from police her new fella had hit her and could i transport her and children home obviously i said yes and it was agreed id have children overnight, she informed me she had no food etc so i ended up refusing to give girls back. this is where she then befriended my sons mum and started "digging and using my past" (she knew all along about my son and misstake i made.

Anyway the children go back to mum and we start court process.
so far she has said i was violent i abducted the children anything she could really! however from april last year i was having contact very regularly overnight etc. i moved in august from a flat to a house so girls could have a garden to play in and have bought absolutely everything i need for the girls toys beds prams stairgates the whole kit and kaboodle! as well as providing their food etc and doing all the transportation fuel costs me 20 a week for contact. im doing all of this out of a single mans benifit running house a car and the above! contact has had to decrease as funding it becomes more difficult and mother refuses to help provide for the girls when they come here.

after caffcass involvement her not attending a meeting between us and turning down mediation at the start we now have date for final hearing. seems like the suggestion is shared residency but mums refused so we stuck! im very unsure what they mean by it but they describing it as 1 child resident here 1 resident there but without actually splitting kids up WHICH IS SOMETHING IM NOT KEEN ON! this is where the story stops and i can breathe lololol any advice on what to expect at final hearing be greaat

may i add i feel slightly better just from typing ..................................

Hello mate

Welcome to the site. I'm afraid I cant offer any advice, having never been in your, or even a similar, situation, but like the other guys have said, we're all here as a listening ear.

Hope something gets sorted soon for your sake, and your kids

Hi Gavin

Glad Basdad picked up on this, because I'd missed it completely. I'll give this some thought as there's quite a lot to it, and I'll post back again later this evening.

Hi Gavin,

It seems you have been through a lot, and made some mistakes, the good thing is that you can admit to your mistakes.

I haven't gotten to the final hearing as yet so not 100% what to expect.

It's my understanding that shared residency is just that, the girls stay with you (together) for an agreed period and with your ex the rest, although I may be wrong and they may be suggesting something different for you case.

When is the final hearing?

Do you still see your son at all?

Darren

Hi Gavin

OK, I think you need to slow down a bit and take things a bit at a time. First thing - shared residency means that you both have the children for more or less equal time, it doesn't mean splitting th children up ( a court would be extremely unlikely to do this anyway) - in my opinion, whether a court would agree to this partly depends on how sensible the arrangements are likely to be, ie you would have to live close to your ex so that you could equally share school arrangements etc. Certainly though, it sounds as though this should be your starting point, but there are other options, such as alternate weekend staying contact, plus defined times during school holidays.