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hi unlike most dads on here i left my partner and got res of my two girls in 2009 we have not had a penny from her .she says she dusnt have to pay any thing as she is not in work and clames benifit as do i .she no longer see's the girls .has no contact at all by phone or letter.i left due to domestic abuse .i think my girls should have contact with her .she allways has new clothes when we see her .smokes drinks and partys and is allways out on the raz .she has had difrent men living with her cohabiting .last time she saw the girls she said she was going to marry a guy called dave .my Q is this if she is on benifit ie job seeker.is she still elligable to pay my girls money.allso if she marrys or lives with some one how do's that efect what she should pay.ie would that persons wage be in the equasion.as when we were to gether i payed money for my son .and her income was part of the mix .is that still the case or has the law changed.thanks. chris
Hi Chris and welcome
I'm actually in a similar position to you as I also have residence of my daughters. If she is on benefits, then she should be paying £5 per week - it's not much, but it's better than nothing. I would contact the CSA immediately and let them handle it - the maintenance starts to become due as soon as they open a case.
Do you think she may have a job that she isn't telling you about? If so, once the CSA have taken the case and assessed her (assuming it's on benefits basis) you could try going for a variation on basis of lifestyle inconsistent with income - it costs nothing apply for a variation. The CSA are slow to move, so be polite with them, but ring weekly or every two weeks, and let them know you will be ringing for an update. Be prepared each time you ring that initially, they will ask you if you want to make a payment or something similar, and explain to them that you are the parent with care - stereotyping still exists in the CSA.
If you ex does marry, then I'm afraid that you can't get anything from her out of her new husband's income, unless he is self employed and pays her an income.
thanks so much for your advice it is much needed here is another Q what happens if they clame working tax credit .would that not be clased as joint income .let me explane why i ask . while i was with my partner i had a personal agrement with my ex wife i payed each month .but becouse my partner abused her over the phone she went to the csa what happend next was beyond all reason i thoght .i was working .she was not .we clamed family tax credit so csa put it all in one pot .in some ways i can understand but in others not .i was the absant perent responsible for my son so i had no problam with that .but my new partner who was not a blood relative not marryd to me was paying for my son also whitch i dont think is fare.so contested the pay ments witch were cripling us and we went to trybunal the csa threw it out and said it was a corect calculation.if i go to the csa and the poor sod who has taken my place has to pay as well .i think its wrong ? but on the other hand i think she has a responcability to our girls to provide .i can tell you now if roles were reversed she would have gone to csa imidiatly.and relished the fact coments please .i allso feel for every dad who loves his children and cant be with them as often as they would like becouse of the sexist system in the courts we as men are as capable as any woman in bringing children up in a proper maner infact sometimes better so if you read this take note dont give in it can be done . plan ahead seek advice befor you make a move .i used mens help line myself thay gave me legal advice .the names of famly law practises in my area .most of all dont be frightend to speak out if you have been abused by your partner .go to your doctor if you have injurys black eyes thik lip scratches its confidential its not like teling the police but it is a record that can be prodused in court .what ever happens never and i mean never hit back [if you do you have allmost sertainly allready lost you case ] step back walk away leave the house go for a walk .dont give any inclanation your going to leave with the children .i was told this and it was the best bit of info i was given .if you try to leave with the kids when shes at home its allmost garanteed they will do some thing over the top to stop you .like injuring them selvs phoneing the police reporting you for asult yes its your word against hers your the one being arested and having your dna logd .then she will stop you seeing the children .supervised visits in special centers posibly wont see your kids again .and you wont have any were to live .on the other hand you could be sitting pretty with your children by your side .if only one person reads this and suckseeds.i would be the happiest dad in the world .i did it so can you good luck guys.
I could be wrong on this, but I think she can only claim working tax credit if she works for more than 16 hours per week - I'd ask the CSA as they will have come across it before.
Hi Myers
I've moved your posting on abuse to Families and Relationships - it's far to important too get mixed up (and perhaps the message lost) in this thread.
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