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Hi!
Can anyone help with a distressing event? My ex (we weren't married, but I'm registered as the father of our now 9-year old boy) has recently remarried (an aggressive, uncouth, inarticulate, ignorant under-achiever, who moved in to her house etc, but that's a separate issue!) and my son told me yesterday, that his mum has sent off his passport to change his name to this new husband's. I expect this to be only part of the picture, although she is being typically unforthcoming. For what it's worth, my son often says he wants to take my name, to be like his older (half-) brother and sister.
Has anyone experienced this before? Anyone know anything of my rights? I pay my ex monthly maintenance and see my son regularly 2-3 times a week, although his mum frequently makes it difficult, or threatens to stop my access. Nothing has been legally mandated.
Thanks, Nick
Hi Nick and welcome.
I'll ask the CCLC (Childrens Legal Centre) to come on and give an opinion, so keep an eye out for their reply and let us know how you go on.
Dear Nick,
Thank you for your enquiry.
If you were registered on the birth certificate after 1 December 2003, or if you have entered a parental responsibility agreement with the mother, or obtained a parental responsibility order, you would have acquired parental responsibility.
If you have parental responsibility you have equal rights, duties and responsibilities towards your child. The mother, as the resident parent, is able to have day to day decision making, however, ideally should involve you in any long term decisions regarding your child. This includes changing the child’s surname.
It should be noted, that if you do not have parental responsibility, the mother would be able to change the child’s surname, however there are options available to you either way. The following information is also applicable to your difficulties in obtaining regular access.
Mediation:
The court will want to see that you have attempted to negotiate with the mother to some extent and mediation often provides a successful avenue. You can contact National Family Mediation on 0300 4000 636 for further information.
If the mother refuses to negotiate or mediation breaks down, you can apply for a prohibited steps order to try and prevent the change of surname, and a contact order in relation to access.
The procedure for both are described below:
Apply for an order:
You can represent yourself or use a solicitor. If you want to represent yourself you could visit the HMCS website to download the C100 application form. Additionally, you can download guidance notes called CB1 and CB3. There is a fee approximately around £200 - £250 for making the application which covers the proceedings.
The court process will consist of a directions hearing where the judge will decide what steps are required and it will give an opportunity for the court to do fact finding. This will be followed by the final hearing allowing the parties to put forward their proposals and objections.
In relation to contact the whole process can take 6 to 12 months, however the court has discretion to make interim decisions to allow contact whilst the case proceeds.
With regards to a prohibited steps order, the court process is not as lengthy but could involve several hearings.
If you have any further questions please contact us via our webchat facility. The link to our webchat is http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/index.php?page=web_chat.
Yours sincerely,
Coram Children’s Legal Centre
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
