Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi
Moved out of marital home 14 months ago. Tried to be amicable and tried to revive marriage on several occasions. In time i 95% realised she had affair. We have one daughter together. I pretty much demanded that house was sold and we split equity. It didn't sell and in time she has decided she wants to keep house. i am in lodgings and have been from the start. On the whole we get on ok. She wants to get me off the mortgage and I'm happy to come off providing I get half the equity (only about 5k!!) She has said that she thinks she can get me off the mortgage but can't see how she can get me the money!! It's a three bedroomed house. Ideally I want to be amicable but won't be too soft. Wheree do i stand? Happy for her to keep house but want a chance to move on with 5k. Am I entitled to my share of equity?
Hi Mikey and welcome to the forum
This one's a bit tricky as I don't think there's a hard and fast rule.
I assume, since the finances haven't been sorted out, that you aren't yet divorced. Once you go through the divorce, the court will want to ensure that your daughter has a home to live in, so may split the equity in favour of your ex. In addition, with a relatively small amount of equity, and the fact that the house didn't sell, in reality the equity could be less than you think, especially after estate agents and legal fees have been deducted.
The bottom line is that if you put up a fight for the equity, you could find yourself paying out far more than the 5k in legal fees to a solicitor in the divorce (unless you represent yourself), and you may then find your ex making contact difficult and have a further battle for contact - if I was in your position, hard as it is to swallow sometimes, I would consider not fighting for the equity (or asking for much less) and using that goodwill to come to an agreement between yourselves on regular contact.
Unfortunately, the children's legal centre aren't able to give advice on divorce proceedings, but you should be able to find a solicitor who will give you an initial free consultation (30 - 45 minutes usually) to see the best way forwards.
Thanks for that. I will look into it. The contact will never be an issue. It's just that i need 4k to pick myself up and start again. I did nothing morally wrong yet I lose everything and she has made no sacrifice at all? I am happy for her to keep the house and take me off the mortgage and i don't think 4-5k is much to ask for after being the main bread winner for 8 years. It's just wrong.
Hi again
I hope you are right, but unfortunately, if you read some of the stories on the forum, there are a number of times where contact wan't an issue and then after a dispute (or new partners appearing) it then became an issue. It's certainly worth considering a lower figure and negotiating, especially if you can avoid the legal costs of a divorce. I would get the free consultation, but don't engage a solicitor until you have looked at the alternatives.
Thanks. I think I get legal support through a healthcare scheme at work. So will try that. Trouble is she was all set to sell and then it would have been a 50/50...now she wants to keep it and I'm ok with that it will be a struggle to get some equity. I want to be nice for my daughters sake but will protect whats rightully mine. I'd hate to think that she would stitch me up but she is a woman after all........time will tell.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
