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Hi there
Been reading different sections of this site, yet still no closer to where to go next as solicitors don't exactly hurry things along. I split with my ex about 7 weeks ago. now we have a 3 month old son, which when we separated we agreed that she would bring him to mine and i would go to her. This happened for a week until i mentioned i wanted him alone as it was getting awkward as we had recently split. As soon as this was said, she stopped all contact and told me to get a solicitor if i want to see my own son. Now i have contacted a solicitor and hes talked me over my parental responsibilities etc and requested mediation. It has now been 6 weeks now since i have seen my own son (which i am registered on the the birth certificate) and am looking for any advice, from anyone that has been in this situation.
Hi Crouchy
Welcome to the site.
You have followed what your ex has requested and haven't gotten anywhere and will have cost you money (unless legal aid) If you have paid I would try and do with out a solicitor, it doesn't seem from what you've said as if there are complications other than you don't see eye to eye.
Your solicitor has suggested you try mediation which is always a good start so I would say to continue down that route.
Your solicitor will continue to charge you to send letters just to chase an answer from your ex, if you right this letter yourself themn you will save time and money.
Write her a letter explaining that as you have had no response from the solicitors letter after following her instructions to appoint one that you would like to deal with things yourself.
Explain that you would like to attend mediation and that if she won't attend then you will look to the family courts to make a legal order for you to maintain contact with your son, don't use this as a threat but just informing her that you will take that route if your can't agree out of court.
send the letter recorded delivery so you know it has arrived and it can be traced, and give a dead line to reply if you haven't heard by then, apply to the court for a formal order, you can do this alone (without a solicitor) too and represent yourself through court, doing this will save lots of money but more importantly will allow the judge to see emotions and feeling when you talk.
Keep us posted and feel free to ask any questions you might have
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Darren
Hi Darren
I am currently receiving legal aid but she has no intention of speaking to me directly about the matter, and her solicitor isnt a family solicitor so doesn't seem to sure whats going on where as my solicitor is the local head of family queries.
Im hoping that she refuses mediation knowing her as well as i do then the ball is in my court, but the big decision is after all the hurt and suffering she has put me through, do i stoop to her level and hurt her and her family and come crashing down like a tonne of bricks with certain information i have ??
ive not mentioned this information to my solicitor as im not one for playing dirty but if it isnt resolved soon should i seek full residence through the courts and get social services involved??
Its not something she has directly done to my child dont get me wrong and she would never hurt him, but i know courts will look at the health and well being before any decision is made.
Hi,
You need to consider the larger picture with this,every action will create a reaction, only you will know what likely reaction will come from the information you have, but think carefully if it will be negative in the long run to your relationship with your child.
Keeping things to yourself may be hard but in the long run it may help your case if you don't start slinging mud.
Darren
Hi
Yeah like i said , its nothing something i want to do and im not the type to stoop that low. I just think with everything shes throwing at me and refusal to see my son for 6 weeks now and yet hes only 3 months old, its weighing me down.
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