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Hey there I'm Simon, so I don't know if this is a normal thing for some men to go through or not.
So here we go, I'm eighteen years old and since I was thirteen I've progressively wanted children more and more. I'm "broody" if you like. I'm not sure if you have encountered men with feelings like this? I know some women get like this and that's normal and part of being a woman. It's just this yearning to have a baby, even just to look after children and just be a parent in general are getting very intense lately. None of my friends have felt this, well not the ones I've mentioned it to. They just call me weird for wanting to be a dad so early. I am just really at a loose end here, because I don't really want these feelings to get much worse.
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Just as a further problem, well no not problem, obstacle, is that I'm gay. So the whole dream life of getting married, being the good dad who looks after my son/daughter isn't going to be achievable. Well not the conventional way, the way I'd like it to be. I blame a good deal of the intensity on a lot of my girl-friends having children and being pregnant. *I think* Which, not to be uppity or anything infuriates me. I mean I see these girl's baby's fathers. I just look at them and think "you don't even care do you?" and heres me practically begging for that opportunity.... I'm sorry for posting on here with me not being a dad or dad to be and all. I'd just like some advice from other men who might know what I'm going through.
And since this is getting long, I'll cut it short am I normal? Have any of you guys had similar feelings? :dry:
Hi Simon,
Welcome to the site.
don't worry about not being a dad or dad too be, we accept all here, we have members that are mums, and grans
I can't say it's someting I went through myself though I always had a love for children from a young age and knew I wanted them, I used to spend time with friends children a lot.
I wouldn't say it's a wierd thing to feel even at a young age, as i'm sure you can relate too, everyone is different and every one wants different things from thier lives.
Don't get too hung up on what your friends think, they will live thier lives and you will live yours. I guess from your point of view though the accepting your feelings of wanting to be a dad and actually getting through the proccess of being one will be be very different. These days though there is much more acceptablilty of of gay men being dads so nothing is impossible.
Good luck and feel free to stick around and join in the chat.
Darren
Hi Simon and welcome!
At 18 you have your whole life in front of you! Through your teenage years your hormones were all over the place, which is what happens, and we've all had to get through it, its called adolescence! Theres nothing wrong with wanting a family, you just knew what you wanted a bit earlier than most.
When I was your age I was very impatient for things to happen!! I think everyone can relate to that... you talk about marriage and having children as being unachievable....thats just not true anymore. One day you'll meet your soulmate and then you can plan for your future in just the same way as hetrosexuals do...marriage, kids, the whole lot! So dont give up hope, better that you start to plan for your future. Theres lots of practical things you can do ... If your working, open a savings account , you can call it your baby fund!. If you're not working maybe it might be a good idea to look for a career looking after children...perhaps as a nursery assistant or a health care assistant, contact your local hospital and see if they have any vacancies for HCAs. You could enroll at college and train in Social Care specializing in child care. Primary schools have openings for classroom assistants...theres lots out there, you just have to motivate yourself.
Hi Simon
I've no experience of your situation as I wasn't really fussed either way about children until they came along, I was 30 when I have my first. As for whether it's unusual or not at your age - there are lads who are happy to hang around aimlessly and get into trouble - I'd prefer more to have your philisophy any day. 🙂
Hi Simon
I dont think there is anything wrong with your feelings - there is nothing wrong with wanting children but don't make it your life mission
Are you currently in a relationship? If so what does your partner think?
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