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My wife had an affair with my best friend of 30 years or more.. Because of it, i lost my house, my wife, my best friend, and the right to bring up my 2 children.. I ended up in prison when i found my wife was cheating on me with my best friend..an from that day, i refused to give anything to my x wife..When the kids needed anything, i wud buy it for them etc.. Ive also been paying for my kids to have holidays, and just finished paying for bith kids to have driving lessons etc.. At work today, im told that the CSA will be stopping £600.00 per month from my wages which is over half my wages, and wot is left wont be enuf for me to live on.. How can women do this, even if im not at fault here??? 15 years down the line, and once again, she is ruining my life.. It was her choise to end our marrage, and i lost the house etc etc.. Please can someone tell me if i can appeal, or set up an interview with the CSA.. Please hepl me.. Many thanks.. Steve x
Hi Steve and welcome 🙂
I really feel for you, the CSA are like gangsters the way they treat Dads and it seems that they are getting worse, as the number of Dads that have posted stories similar to your own is increasing.
Is the attachment to your wages for arrears only, or are your children still eligible for maintenance? If they are under 20 and still in full time education then CSA is still relevant.
Have you contacted them or received notification that they would be taking money straight from your wages?
If they wont budge or enter into dialogue with you the best thing I can suggest is to go and see your MP and ask him/her to get involved...other guys in your predicament have done this and got results.
Good luck with it all 🙂
Welcome to the site and like many dads you seem to have been stitched up by the CSA - Like NannyJane says try speaking to your local MP but I would speak to them first and try to appeal or at least get them to review it.
When did they first contact you? How far back can they charge the arrears?
Many thanks nannyjane lol.. Im just at my witts end, with not knowing which way to turn.. I WILL give my MP a call if youv'e hurd it can help Jane.. The dept is from way back..and when my daughter was 15, she lived with me till she was 18, and my boy Sullivan still lived with his mum.. The CSA were even on my case the.. Even tho my daughter was livin with ME from the age of 15..the CSA STILL wanted me to pay for my son who was living with his mum.. I told the CSA that i wud care and provide for my daughter, and the mother will care and provide for our son....simple yes?? NO!!!!! The CSA Still wanted me to pay for our son...Wot a joke.. Ive bought and provided for me kids since i left, but NEVER will i give to the so called mother.. I told the CSA today that im paying £388.00 every 5 weeks for both our kids for driving lessons etc...but the CSA said "That was nice of you, but that was MY choise" I sooooooo wanna swear rite now.. My daughter is now 20, and my son is 18 next week, and is in further education, and working, and so is his mother working, and so is her husband..( was my bst friend)..My home was sold, then they moved in together whilst i was in prison at 40 years old.. Life begins at 40 they say...Yeh rite lol.. Many thanks again Nanny Jane.. Steve x
Hi Mario lol.. My daughter is now 20 and expecting lol..and my son who lives with his mum is 18 next week, and still on further education.. The CSA have been onto me quite a few times.. The last time they caught me, was when i noticed my wages were wrong lol..I jacked in my job there and then, and worked for cash... Ihave and still provide for me kids like i said above.. Wot makes matters even worse now, is that ive just taken out a loan for my campervan which is also my only means of transport..and when i spoke to the CSA today, i told them my outgoings etc, and they told me my van and my mobile fone were classed as luxury items, so dont count as outgoings.. I called my X wife, and said thanks to her.. Now it is affecting me and the kids again, because now i cant afford to pay for their driving lessons any more...or help cause me daughter is expecting etc etc etc etc.. Wot a [censored] life er wot eh lol.. I will try my MP tho for sure.. Any more sugestions greatfully recieved.. and thanks again to all.
Hi Steve,
The CSA have sooooo many get out clauses. You would still have been liable for maintenance for your son, even though you had your daughter living with you., they dont cancel each other out. You should have claimed CSA from your ex for your daughter at that point, and you should have been receiving Child Benefit and tax credits, also working families tax credits for your daughter as she was living with you. Thats just the way it works.
As you are still liable for your son? I think he needs to be in full time education for child benefit to continue to be paid, and maintenance payments stop when child benefit stops. Your ex is supposed to inform the CSA when the children leave full time education so that they can stop payments.
If you were to pay the driving lesson payments into a bank account as a money transfer or standing order, you can mark the payment as maintenance and then it would count. Any payments made for your son (your daughter is no longer counted as she is 20) should be made this way then you have proof that maintenance is being paid. If its used to pay for driving lessons, thats their choice then! Just make sure it is referenced on the bank transfer/standing order as maintenance.
If you can prove you need your van and phione for work surely they shouldnt be classed as luxury items, I would argue the point. Your MP has the capacity to bring the CSA to heel, but if the outstanding amount is for arrears then its unlikely theMP can get it cancelled but he may be able to get the payments you make reduced. They can only take a percentage of your wages and must leave enough for you to pay cost of living. Its not an area I'm completely familiar with. There is a sticky at the top of the Finance section, its called "How the CSA calculate Payments" if you follow the link it will take you to a CSA leaflet that explains how they work out maintenance payments and any deductions that you can get etc.
The CSA is being closed down in 2014 and all the rules change. There is another sticky about this, I think that too is at the top of the Finance section and it makes interesting reading! You may be able to renegotiate the amount you "owe" then. Have a look at it it might give you some hope.
Best of luck 🙂
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