Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi all,
New to this, after some advice.
I really slipped up here, no pun intended, I have known this working girl for a while, we have been having [censored] for which i paid for over ten years.
She got pregnant, said nothing and pointedly ignored me, did not meet me for at least six months, this was done on purpose so I could, i believe, persuade her to have an abortion.
The baby is born, looks nothing like me.
She is now screaming about the CSA and all that it implies.
What is the score here?
All answers gratefully received.
Thanks
Pete
Hi Pete and welcome to the forum
The basics are very simple, if the child is yours, then you are bound to pay maintenance irrespective of the circumstances - for one child, you have to pay 15% of your take home after reasonable expenses for travelling to have contact with your child. It will date from the time she approaches the CSA.
The question of course, from your post, is whether the child is yours, and you can dispute this if you wish. I believe you have to pay for the patermity test, but if it turns out from the test that you are not the father, then I believe the the CSA refund this fee to you. My advice would be that you tell her that you will only pay through the CSA, and that you will be disputing paternity, just in case she is trying the same with other men, but ultimately, if you do turn out to be the father, then you will be bound, both morally and legally, to pay towards supporting the child, and you then need to look at, ideally, coming to an arrangement with her over contact.
Hi Pete,
I would agree with actd & go through the process offically & request a paternity test. This must be a really hard situation to be in. How are you doing with the possibilities of being a Dad?
Please update us with how you get on, as this will be helpful for others who may find themselves in similar situation & hopefully you'll find some support & advice here.
Springchicken
Hi all
What if the mother refuses to allow a paternity test? Can the CSA still insist on a payment?
This is quite useful, if you think there may be any doubt at all that you are the father, then dispute that you are - the CSA have to prove that you are the father and with this girls choice of career, they will have a hard job proving it without a DNA test -if you are the father, then I believe wholeheartedly that you should part to support your childand take part in being a father, but if you aren't then it's not your responsibility.
http://www.childsupportlaws.co.uk/disputes-over-paternity.html
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.