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After some advice...im sure its something talked about on here alot, divorced the ex 7 years ago after i found out she had been sleeping around, i gave her everything without a fight and she kept the kids, there was no court battle for them.
i ended up moving away as i couldnt cope with seeing someone else with my kids and in the end lost contact as she was trying to control things. I got back in touch with my daughters last year, my eldest doesnt want to know, mainly down to her mum and family feeding her with rubbish and blaming me for what happened, but i have been seeing the youngest one, who is now 11.
things have been going great and i am getting a good bond back with her but now my ex wants my address, the last time she had this she caused nothing but trouble and i do not want her to have it this time because of that, i do not see why she needs it as i collect and drop off my daughter and when i have her we go out, so she is not at my home....but she has now said that unless i give it her i am not allowed to see my daughter....can she do this? any help would be good guys
Hi James and welcome.
Unfortunately, you are in a position at the moment where, if she does withhold access, you don't have anything to enforce it. You are in a position where you could suggest going to mediation, but because you have contact at the moment, what are you going to mediate about? It's tricky to know what to suggest - if you force the issue by refusing to give your address, then you would certainly have a good reason to go to mediation, or to court if necessary, but you risk losing contact for a while during the process.
Hi ACTD...thanks for taking the time to reply...to be honest im not sure what i should do, my ex has had the upper hand from day 1 and its frustrating to think she still has. Although i have acess to my daughter, its not the same as living with her as many of us know too well so to impose restrictions on the little contact i have makes it hard.
i think i will have to seek legal advice but i do not have much in the way of funds and she has, so ive probably lost already. 🙁
Hi James - I'll ask the cclc to pop on and see if there's any advice they can give before you go to a solicitor, as their advice is free, so keep checking back here.
Dear James,
Mum does not have a legal right to know your address, however there is the risk that she may stop contact should you not give her this information. As pointed out by ActD, becuase there are no court orders in place, should mum not allow contact it would not be possible to enforce the contact that you are having at the moment. However there are still steps you can take in relation to contact.
It would be worth attempting mediation as you may be able to discuss mum's desire to know your address and your reasons for not wanting to hand this to her, and try to reach some compromise on this matter without having to take the matter to court. You can find details of local mediation services on the National Family Mediation website at www.NFM.org.uk
Should it not be possible to reach compromise and mum does restrict the contact you are having it would be necessary to apply for a contact order; this is a court order which gives set times and days for contact. This would be legally binding and mum would have to make your daughter available for contact at those times. When considering contact the Court would consider whether it would be necessary for you to pass your address to mum.
A family solcitor would be able to assist you with communicating with mum and trying to reach agreement about contact. Should that not be possible they would make the applciation for the contact order and represent you in court.
If you are not eligible for legal aid and cannot instruct a solicitor you can apply for a contact order yourself. The form you would need is a C100 and can be obtained either from your local county court or at www.justice.gov.uk . This form will need to be filed at the County Court local to where your daughter lives. You will also need to look at forms CB1 and CB3 for guidance on completing the C100 and filing the forms. There will be a court fee payable of £200. You can apply to pay a reduced court fee by completing and submitting form EX160.
We hope this information has been of use to you and wish you well as you take this matter forward.
Should you wish to discuss your situation further please do contact one of our legal advisors via our webchat which can be accessed on our website www.childrenslegalcentre.com between the hours of 9am and 6pm.
Yours faithfully
The Coram Children’s Legal Centre
Hi
Many thanks for getting back to me regarding my ex and her apparent need to know my address....She has always got what she wants and thinks that becuase dadddy gave her some money she can lord it up over me as i am struggling to stay afloat despite working all the hours i can. I think mainly because now my daughter has grown up and she feels she has less control so she is trying to impose restrictions on me to keep herself as " the boss", why she cannot let me get on with my life is beyond me but mediation would not help, she is or thinks she is always right...regardless. the legal system seems like the way forward but i cannot afford a solicitor and feel that it would take a long time to resolve and in the meantime i lose out....again...she is moving house in the summer and i feel she will play the if you dont tell me where you live then i wont tell you card...what can i do to that?
well, you don't need to know where your ex lives, but you do need to know where your daughter lives - it just so happens it will be the same address.
this post may help
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/forum/welcome-to-the-forum/12444-disappearing-ex-please-advise?limit=6&start=6#12592
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