[Solved] Who is responsible for child care?

Hi Iron Man,

my view would be that if you had let her know than it would be down to her to ensure your child was collected, If she hadn't replied to say it was down to you to make alternative arrangments, especailly if she wouldn't let your family pick up.

When you send text i'm guessing you keep them all, but do you have notifications set up on your phone to give you reciepts that messages have been delivered? most networks charge for this but it would mean there wouldn't be any excuse of "I didn't recieve anything"

What was said in court when you stated that you couldn't make this date? did she comment at all? or was it written into any notes?

Darren

Hi Iron Man

I would say that it's not your fault, but it is down to a learning experience.

For the future, if you need to change any arrangements, ask for confirmation from your ex, and if she doesn't confirm ask repeatedly until she does. Also tell the school directly, and ask them to confirm with your ex that she has made arrangements. As Darren says, keep all messages (ideal transcribe them with date/time into a separate document - don't rely on your phone to keep them) to and from your ex, and don't make verbal arrangements, or if you do, keep a note of them and confirm them in writing. A word of warning about confirmation of text delivery - unless you have a blackberry, this only means that the message has been delivered, but not necessarily read (though a court would probably accept that it's unlikely that it hasn't been read unless there's a good reason why not).

As for the statements, I would definitely mention this in court - the timings are there for a good reason, and the fact that she isn't complying is both contempt of court, and an indication of how seriously (or otherwise) she is taking the proceedings. I would also recommend that in future, you get yours in on time - it's unlikely that the court will say anything about yours being a day late, but being seen to comply with the courts' instructions is always going to help.

Hi Darren,

Thanks for your reply.

Nothing was said in the court room, all the Judge did was make a note of it so that the next hearing was before or after I was away. There is no note on the order etc though and previous court orders don't state anything about cancelled contact or arrangements when contact is cancelled.

I have now set up notifications on my phone, I totally forgot all about the delivery notifications that phones allow but have done this for the future now. Thanks for this.

Cheers for this actd.

As mentioned to Darren, I have now setup on notifications, there is only a function for text delivery and not read on my phone but it's better and more to argue with than a simple text, will also start transcribing all texts too.

I still haven't received her statement even though I've returned from my holidays now (supposed to be delivered by 21st). Is is worth mentioning anything to her again or simply waiting and or writing to both the courts and CAFCASS who are involved and letting them know of this recent breach?

Hi Iron Man,

My personal opinion would be that you contact her again in writing (preferably email) to remind her, but I'd then copy this separately to the courts and Cafcass - that way you have been seen to be giving her an opportunity to get her statement in, but also making the courts aware that she isn't complying.

Cheers actd. That sounds like a very sensible idea. Unfortnately, I don't have an e-mail address for the courts or Cafcass and from what I know she doesn't really check her e-mails that regulalry. I normally have to text her to let her know that I've sent her an e-mail. I think I'll just write to her and send a carbon copy of the letter to the courts and Cafcass with a note to both, informing them of the lack of compliance and the fact that I'm still awaiting her statement.