Dad dot info
DAD.info form. Ask questions, get answers
Notifications
Clear all

[Solved] NRP Dad - new relationship issues

Page 2 / 3
 
got-the-tshirt
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Twiston makes a very good point!!!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10/02/2016 3:24 pm
Mojo
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

You've come to a forum where the vast majority of Dads are fighting tooth and nail for any contact with their kids and you want balanced and impartial advice on whether to reduce contact because you're having an affair with a married woman who by default doesn't like them.... really? I'm speechless!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10/02/2016 9:34 pm
MR SLIM and Yoda liked
actd
 actd
(@actd)
Illustrious Member

My ex wife was the typical alcoholic, mean, bitch troll from hell, cost me a large fortune getting custody of my children and was general obnoxious in every way possible. However, my new wife at the time welcomed my children into her home (which we had extended to accomodate them) and has been the perfect mother to them as they grew up (and I hope I was a reasonable father to her children). If your new partner isn't prepared to do that, and as has been said, is prepared to cheat on her current husband - is this really the sort of woman you want to be around your children, and can you really see a long term future for you both? It may seem exciting at the moment, but how long before you start resenting her for coming between you and your children.

At the very least, you should be considering something like Relate to sort out issues at this early stage.

And I also think Twiston makes a very good point.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11/02/2016 1:33 am
got-the-tshirt
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi,
.
I think another valid point is what sort of example are you giving too your children, firstly, they would be growing up thinking that it's ok to have an affair, and secondly, that they could have children and then reduce the time they spend with them for thier own benifit.
.
GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11/02/2016 1:23 pm
othen
(@othen)
Reputable Member Registered

Like most commentators,I rather assume this post was a joke by Steve50, if so it has certainly exposed the 'voice of the body of the kirk' and has perhaps been a little amusing (for Steve50, but far from funny for the rest of us)

If by some remote chance this was not a joke by Steve50, I think he needs to take stock of his moral responsibilities towards his two young children (regardless of his feelings towards their mother) rather than conducting an affair with a married woman. No good will come of this (if indeed it is a true case): the woman's husband will be hurt, the affair will not survive contact and Steve50's children will lose out most.

I suspect this will be the last we will hear of Steve50.

O

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11/02/2016 2:32 pm
TashasHideousLaugh
(@TashasHideousLaugh)
Estimable Member Registered

Firstly, I echo all of the above comments made so far, the level of poor judgement and selfishness in this scenario is quite...shocking, it seems to me.
Based upon your other post (about going self-employed...solely to reduce child maintenance)... I doubt the authenticity of these posts. And suggest this has come from a troll or a "well-known Women's charity" (or both).

That said....

And now to the area where I would appreciate your feedback.........
My new partner hates my ex wife for being all the things that give women a bad name. I totally understand and empathise with her. Especially as my ex wife will indirectly benefit from her hard earned money.

As a result she finds it very difficult to separate my children from their mother and subsequently has never been happy when I talk about them.

1. I do not see how your ex-wife will benefit from your new partners hard work...it is simply irrelevant to be honest. Her income is not factored into any child maintenance calculations.

Later on you say:

"But I also understand how difficult if not impossible it is for my new partner to surgically separate mother from children ."

2. In what way do you understand this? To me, it is ludicrous. You have children and they have rights and you have obligations. Any reasonable, sane, sound-minded new partner will accept this as a "given". If she prefers someone without children...then she has a choice to have an affair with someone in that position(!) It is as simple as that. If you prefer to place your desire for a relationship above the needs and rights of your children - then, rather like your ex who you claim "Exploit feminism and give it a bad name", you - it seems from your post - fall in to the category of giving fathers a "bad name".

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11/02/2016 3:04 pm
Yoda and Twiston liked
othen
(@othen)
Reputable Member Registered

I'll subscribe to Mumsnet in order to see if this thread has appeared in the funnies column.

O

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11/02/2016 3:59 pm
Mojo
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Steve50 wrote ....And now to the area where I would appreciate your feedback.........
My new partner hates my ex wife for being all the things that give women a bad name.

... This out of the mouth of a woman who is cheating her husband and trying to deny the children of a father!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11/02/2016 5:38 pm
Twiston liked
TashasHideousLaugh
(@TashasHideousLaugh)
Estimable Member Registered

Steve50 wrote ....And now to the area where I would appreciate your feedback.........
My new partner hates my ex wife for being all the things that give women a bad name.

... This out of the mouth of a woman who is cheating her husband and trying to deny the children of a father!

Yes...quite!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 12/02/2016 12:54 am
peagle
(@peagle)
New Member Registered

Regardless of whether this is a troll post or not, it is reassuring to read the replies on this thread. As a new user it's great to see that you are all coming from a place of good intentions.

Steve/stevette/stevanna I hope you got what you were looking for. If genuine, then deep down you knew what the response would be, maybe you just needed someone to say it?
I hope you make the right choice.
Good luck

ReplyQuote
Posted : 12/02/2016 2:55 am
othen
(@othen)
Reputable Member Registered

Steve50 may find this site more useful than dad.info:

www.philandersdonotcareabouttheirkids.co.uk

ReplyQuote
Posted : 14/02/2016 11:56 am
MR SLIM
(@MR SLIM)
Noble Member Registered

Defo a troll or another crazy woman 🙂

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15/02/2016 12:13 am
Page 2 / 3
Share:

Pin It on Pinterest