Dad dot info form. Ask questions, get answers | Family | Kids | Children | The Scary Guy

The Scary Guy

He’s covered in tattoos and facial piercings. I’m petrified. The music stops. Silence. Then The Scary Guy speaks

OK… set the scene…I’m sitting in an auditorium filled to the brim with children, teenagers, teachers, carers, parents, play leaders, and even the Deputy Mayor. The lights are dimmed the projector is fired up and the loud music begins. The images I’m looking at are newspaper headlines, children killing children and children committing suicide. Stabbings in the playground because of the way they look, children killing themselves because they are being bullied.

The music changes from a soft ballad to hard rock and in walks a 20 stone, 6 foot plus man crossed between a wrestler and a biker. He’s covered in tattoos and facial piercings. I’m petrified. The music stops. Silence. I’m anxious, I’m fidgeting, and the silence is becoming awkward and uneasy. The Scary Guy speaks in a very deep but incredibly soft voice. I’m shocked but not scared anymore.

He immediately wins the crowd over with humour. And so he begins his story.

The Scary Guy (his real name) began his mission of eliminating hatred, violence and anger through realisation that personal choice and being in control of our brain can make the difference. Scary used to be a tattooist, no surprise there. He was faced with a rival who took out an ad in the local paper having a pop at Scary. His immediate thought was revenge, what could he do to get this guy back? Violence, he thought. He didn’t act on it but instead made a call and talked about it. It was at this point in his life that everything changed. Starting with his name. Scary took his negative feelings of revenge and turned them into positives. His mission began.

Scary decided that he needed to tackle the children and change the way they act and respond to situations in an attempt to prevent all the terrible things that happen between children, the bullying, violence and aggressive behaviour. Scary believes that there is no such thing as a bad kid. There is bad behaviour and kids learn how to behave badly. This is where he wants to intervene. The power to choose is a philosophy with two key principles. The first is teaching the power to choose what we see and hear, and secondly, understanding we have the power to choose what we create, accepting responsibility for all of our words and actions.

The Scary Guy invites everyone to the 7-day-7-night challenge where you do not say a bad word or call someone a name other than their own for this period.

Eliminate the word ignore. It is so hard to ignore something and try and move on from it, it will eat you up. What Scary teaches is that you take on board what has been said and process the negative words rather than become a victim of them. If we defend ourselves with more negative words towards another we are becoming the bully.

If you slip up and make a mistake by name calling, that’s ok but you should apologise immediately. This lets the other person know that you have taken responsibility of your words and actions. This takes courage and is a sign of strength not weakness.

Scary is travelling all over the world reaching out to people to teach them about negative energy through words. Hopefully in doing this he will intervene and reach out to the next suicide victim or teenager who carries a knife in his pocket before it’s too late. “No-one is safe on this planet until all of the hate is gone. You cannot get rid of hate with hate.”

I was moved by his presentation, and although I am not a name caller or a bully I maybe do look at people differently. As Scary said: We are all the same, we just live in different containers that come in all shapes, sizes and colours. We all like different music, clothes and hobbies, we have different jobs, levels of education and earn different amounts of money but we are all human, we are all the same, and as soon as everyone realises this then the world will have less hatred, less violence, less aggressive behaviour and will be a whole better place to live.

Following his presentation, I had a private chat with Scary and asked him questions directly relating to dads. Have a listen to the short PODCAST and see what Scary has to say…

Also check out for more information.

Related entries

What to do when tempers fray

The summer holidays have started in earnest, and in many households tempers have become frayed as the lockdown inevitably meant most children have already been at home for months. Even though things are easing currently it's useful to have a plan for when...

6 Ways Childcare prepares your child for school

  Starting school can be a shock to the system for many children, going from the relatively rule free, breezy environment of home life to a structured setting with hundreds of other children can be a scary experience. This is why a nursery may be worth the...

Guide to helping children cope with loss

In these days of social media, children can already have a hard enough time fitting in. So how do we help a child through a loss and how can we encourage them to deal with their losses comfortably, confidently, and in a healthy way? Above all, how do we teach them not...

Latest entries

What birth rate is needed to sustain a population?

What birth rate is needed to sustain a population?

Not the most romantic of pillow talk, but though having children is a completely personal choice there is also an optimal birth rate that is needed to sustain a population. And it is 2.1 live births per mother. 2.1 for a few reasons. Sadly even with the best medical...



Dads, do you struggle sometimes? Who do you reach out to for help? Debbie Pattison, a qualified counsellor at Fegans can answer your questions. Send them in to Ask Debbie at and if she can she will answer. Today’s question is from a hurt dad that hasn't...

Childcare: what are the options?

Childcare: what are the options?

Modern parenthood is about striking a balance between caring for your children and earning a crust. Many families need childcare options to balance the juggle. If you don't know your nannies from your au pairs, read our guide to childcare to help you decide...

Pin It on Pinterest