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Sexual satisfaction: when things go wrong

It’s becoming quite common for men and women to experience either pain or anxiety during sex, with an increasing inability to climax. has been looking at some of the results from the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles study 2011.


For women, the most common problem reported was difficulty in reaching climax, which 21.3% of those who participated in the study said they experienced. But that’s not all…

  • 9.8% said they lacked enjoyment in sex
  • 9% of women said they experienced physical pain as a result of sex
  • 8.5% experienced an uncomfortably dry vagina
  • 8% feeling anxious during sex
  • and 8% of women felt no excitement or arousal


Well for men, the biggest difficulty was reaching a climax too quickly, which 13.2% had experienced. Albeit some of the other figures are smaller in number, but they’re still worth looking at. Identify with any of these?

  • 8.3% of men found difficulty in reaching a climax
  • 7.8% experienced difficulty getting or keeping an erection
  • 5.4% of men lacked enjoyment in sex
  • and 4.8% of men felt anxious

Talk about it

It’s estimated around 36% of women and 26% of men seek help concerning problems with their sex life. The great thing is we are becoming more confident in talking about these types of issues, shrugging off any stigma attached to talking openly about problems with our sex life. If these stats tell us anything, it is that difficulties during or after sex are common, and not necessarily confined to one facet- whether it be physical, emotional or mental. No question is too silly either. Advice from your local GP, experts, friends, family, the media and credible sources off the internet could help you stay informed and help provide a solution. You could start by talking to us on our online forum, from the 32,000 thousands dads on forum – you’ll probably come across someone who has been in your shoes but a little further in the journey to be able to offer you support.

Be sure you can trust whoever you confide in. Talking about your sexual vulnerabilities is a sensitive subject and should be approached with care. The great thing about our forum is that you can seek out advice anonymously, when talking to your friends – be sure you can trust the person you are sharing with.  

Support from your partner

Have you considered talking through some of your concerns or difficulties with your sexual partner? Talking through the experience with the one person who is on the journey of intimacy with you could help alleviate mental and emotional expectations during sex. You could encourage your partner to become more sensitive towards the emotional or physical aspect of sex you are finding difficult. This may not be the full answer and you may need further expert or medical advice, but knowing your partner understands and supports you could help alleviate some of the pressure.

We’ve got some great commentary and advice in these related articles: 

Sex Ain’t Easy

Cybersex: What is it and is it bad for you


The figures in this article are taken out of The Guardian.



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