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Reflections.

Happy New Year to you all. I thought I would start 2014 with a blog reflecting on 2013 and mentioning my aspirations for the New Year for both me and my children.

The year ended for me with a trip to Manchester with my children, which was a bitter sweet experience as my boys had some good time but also some bad. Unfortunately the bad involved a ‘friend’ of my father and some very rude bad mannered behaviour at a meal (which I am glad to report both my boys ignored during the meal but commented on after). But it was good as we got to spend time together and then when we came back south we enjoyed a great day of games, walks and silliness. This has caused me to re-evaluate what I want for my boys.  I have always been open with them but don’t want their memories tainted by things I can’t control. I have allowed others too much freedom, which has impacted on them.

2013 involved the finalisation of my divorce and a court order for contact with my children which my ex-wife disregarded, and chose to ignore it. I am grateful that parliament is looking to strengthen the rights of non-resident parents, when one parent chooses to re-write the rules. I know my ex is determined to cut me out of my boy’s life and I will fight it tooth and nail, especially given that joint parenting is the way forward, not one parent telling the other what they can and cannot do. This s a cause I fell I as a parent want to get more involved in 2014.

The past year has seen lots of lows for me and many have been financial. I feel I have listened to others and taken advice, some good some not so, and I look to new year to make myself more stable financially but I also want to try to spend time with my children without the need to have to compete with their mother and her family. Which is hard as my boys have three or four holidays abroad with them and all I feel I can do is few weeks with their grandparents with me. But I need to not compare or compete…. as a Dad I am not a mum and I don’t want to compare myself or feel my children compare me to her, we are different and I offer them different things that they need. I should complement those offered by their mother. I am not going to take my children to Manchester to satisfy family but allow family to come and see them with me on my terms, making it a better experience for both me and my children.

My girlfriend and I moved in together, formally in 2013. I hope we have a loving home my children feel happy in.  This year I need to ensure that I am able to balance the time I have with my children and that we have time both with and without her. It is all about balance. She is a rock for me and I don’t say thank you enough, something I will do more in 2014.

Personally I want my life to grow stronger by being more in control. I want a stronger relationship with my children by being open with them. 2014 is not about more of the same it is a new door to a new chapter in my life, one focusing on my goals, based on achieving not on the trappings and physical possession’s people might feel I need ….. and you are all welcome to join me on the ride.

Have a fantastic 2014.

Till next week…

Marc

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not necessarily represent the views of Dad.info.

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