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Dietary Requirements

Things are changing at my house, and by things, I don’t just mean children. Faith and I have enlisted the help of a health guru friend because we want to start eating better, and she has put us on a wheat-free diet. Yes, we are those annoying people.

When Faith told me we were going to need to cut out wheat, I first thought that it wouldn’t be much of a problem. “No more toast,” I thought. “No big deal.” But it turns out everything has wheat in it: bread, pasta, pizza, Big Macs.

I’ve been texting Faith a few times every day from work to ask if certain foods are allowed. Thankfully, I learned yesterday that beer is ok.

This new no-wheat diet is supposed to help us lose a bit of weight, a feat that’s become a bit more difficult since I hit 30, and especially since I developed a knee injury. When I was 22, I could run for hours at a time and eat curry at midnight and drink massive quantities of Coke. But now…now I’m on a diet of oatcakes and green tea.

The good news is, I can eat all the eggs I want. Omelettes, scrambled, fried, frittatas…

Meanwhile Adlai is still allowed toast for breakfast and pasta for lunch. I’m hoping I might be able to do a deal with him: an extra story at bedtime in exchange for a sneaky scrap of bread. Don’t tell my wife.

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