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From Pepper’s Perspective

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DAD.info

18 Nov 2011

As you may know, we have a new addition to the family: Pepper the Dog.  Inspired by Victoria’s blog (which includes Pepper’s diary) and one of the more obscure Kafka short stories, I was wondering what may be going through Pepper’s head….

“While I like my new servants, I do think that they are, well, a bit odd.  Mainly it is their attitude to my poo which is frankly a bit obsessive.  Whenever I have one they scoop it up and put it in a little black bag.  Why would they want to collect them?  What on earth do they do with them all?  After two months they must have a pretty good collection by now.

Having thought about it, I have noticed on the numerous walks in the park and along the road they have never once pulled their trousers down and “relieved” themselves.  In fact I have never even seen them do it in the garden which, in moments of desperation, I am forced to do.  So it occurs to me perhaps they do not actually poo.  This could explain their obsession with collecting mine.

The other weird thing is they love collecting my hair.  They have a special brush to help them collect big handfuls of the stuff.  They even have a special sucky machine to (I think the word is ‘hoover’) to get them up off the floor.  They must be very pleased as I can see regularly they have to empty the machine as it is so full of the beloved hairs.  Again I have no idea what they do with them all – stuff cushions? Make clothes?

I do not want to sound insecure but there is one thing that does worry me about their obsessions: I really hope that they love me for other things, like my personality, and not just for the poo and hair.”

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