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God Bless the Internet

Celebrations come thick and fast at this time of year in our household. In the space of three months, we have Valentine’s Day, Faith’s Birthday, Mother’s Day, our Anniversary and Koa’s Birthday – although Faith claims Koa’s birthday does not count because it’s not about her. On a positive note – as well as adding extravagant amounts of joy and boosting the income at the local flower shop – some balloons last the entire season (although they may look a little sad by the time we get round to Koa’s special day).

Mother’s Day is the Wednesday of our household celebration season – our hump day. As far as my wife is concerned, it’s the second day solely about her, although Valentine’s Day has a heavy Faith leaning. All this means that I am starting to run out of ideas as to how make the day special. So, I decided to ask the internet for inspiration…

Before I knew it, I was knee deep in internet weirdness.

My favourite suggestion from the internet was ‘homemade hand lotion’. Of the list of ingredients needed to make this ‘thoughtful gift’ I had heard of exactly zero. Not a great start. The recipe called to ‘lightly whip’ the mixture and if I’m being honest with you I find it hard to differentiate between a ‘light’ and ‘medium’ whip. At this point I stopped reading and moved on in the name of inspiration.

The second greatest suggestion from the internet was a bird. Yes, an actual life bird. The serving suggestion for this gift was to put the bird in the garage (presumably in a cage) and then think of an excuse to convince the mother to go into the garage thus discovering the wonderful surprise. Unfortunately, I do not have a garage; otherwise this seems like a fool-proof plan.

Other suggestions as I wander off into the abyss of the World Wide Web include a golf pin, a heart-shaped rock and onion goggles. It looks like it’s going to be one heck of a Mother’s Day in my house. Well done, internet….well done.



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