Dad dot info form. Ask questions, get answers | DAD BLOGS: New Dad Simon | God Bless the Internet

God Bless the Internet

Celebrations come thick and fast at this time of year in our household. In the space of three months, we have Valentine’s Day, Faith’s Birthday, Mother’s Day, our Anniversary and Koa’s Birthday – although Faith claims Koa’s birthday does not count because it’s not about her. On a positive note – as well as adding extravagant amounts of joy and boosting the income at the local flower shop – some balloons last the entire season (although they may look a little sad by the time we get round to Koa’s special day).

Mother’s Day is the Wednesday of our household celebration season – our hump day. As far as my wife is concerned, it’s the second day solely about her, although Valentine’s Day has a heavy Faith leaning. All this means that I am starting to run out of ideas as to how make the day special. So, I decided to ask the internet for inspiration…

Before I knew it, I was knee deep in internet weirdness.

My favourite suggestion from the internet was ‘homemade hand lotion’. Of the list of ingredients needed to make this ‘thoughtful gift’ I had heard of exactly zero. Not a great start. The recipe called to ‘lightly whip’ the mixture and if I’m being honest with you I find it hard to differentiate between a ‘light’ and ‘medium’ whip. At this point I stopped reading and moved on in the name of inspiration.

The second greatest suggestion from the internet was a bird. Yes, an actual life bird. The serving suggestion for this gift was to put the bird in the garage (presumably in a cage) and then think of an excuse to convince the mother to go into the garage thus discovering the wonderful surprise. Unfortunately, I do not have a garage; otherwise this seems like a fool-proof plan.

Other suggestions as I wander off into the abyss of the World Wide Web include a golf pin, a heart-shaped rock and onion goggles. It looks like it’s going to be one heck of a Mother’s Day in my house. Well done, internet….well done.



The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not necessarily represent the views of 

Related entries

Running to Beat the Chickens

Running to Beat the Chickens

On mile 23 of the London Marathon I was overtaken by a giant chicken. Let's just say, it was a low point… Looking back on my London Marathon ‘success’ I can only assume it was someone dressed up in a costume or perhaps some kind of hallucination. The lactic acid build...

Running to Beat the Chickens

Snow Day

On this day in 2010 I walked through the snow to visit my wife and one-day-old son at our local hospital... Due to various complications, my first born had a short spell of intensive medical oversight before being released into the real world. I chose the frozen walk...

Latest entries

The Top 10 Hidden Gem Days Out for Half Term

The Top 10 Hidden Gem Days Out for Half Term

Looking for something different to do this half term? Legal and General have found the top 10 UK days out that are less well-known, with excellent reviews on TripAdvisor. Log Heights, Outdoor Adventure, Harrogate Based in the grounds of Ripley Castle, Log Heights is a...

Can I watch Squid Game with my kids?

Can I watch Squid Game with my kids?

The news is buzzing with stories of children reenacting scenes from the hit Netflix show Squid Game. Kids as young as 6 have seen enough of the violent series to be 'playing' it on the playground, and there are reports of children being hurt. The story of the series,...

Pin It on Pinterest