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Party Maths

How many two-year-olds can you balance on your back before it starts to get uncomfortable?

An important philosophical question, I’m sure you agree. Yesterday, I was fortunate enough to be afforded the opportunity to discover the answer.

At 4:25pm my house lay silent, balloons gently bumped around the floor and the train track was a functional (if unimaginative) complete circle. The Duplo resembled the barn on its box and the sounds of ‘lullaby Coldplay’ filled the still air

At 4:28pm the first of 4 two-year-olds arrived for 90 minutes of partying, fish fingers and celebrating all things Koa. Like the monarch – Koa has opted for the two birthday option and this was the 2nd: ‘Friend Birthday’. The parents dropped their kids at the door and left us to it, and a weird kind of chaos descended

Two-year-old chaos is different to four-year-old chaos. Two-year-olds play near each other rather than together. The first 30 minutes were largely filled with close to silent play as the children figured out their surroundings. I tried to muscle in on some of the Duplo construction but my assistance was largely unrequired

About 35 minutes into the party something changed; the two-year-olds decided they wanted to climb and wrestle and mostly on me. As soon as I put one down another wanted to scale my leg. The last 30 minutes of the party seemed to be a lot longer than the first 30. It’s hard to remember everything – I’m not sure if I took a blow to the head at some point.

So, the answer to the question is 7: 4 visiting two-year-olds, 1 of my own two-year-olds an and my own four-year-old (which counts as 2).

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