Total Bedtime

This morning I woke up on a pile of cushions placed in a bed-like fashion on my living room floor...


The cushions had provided very poor lumbar support and my body begged me to give up on the day before it had even begun. 

My night had not started on a pile of cushions; but in a similar way to Holland adopted ‘Total Football’ in the 70’s, my household appear to be trailing something I’m calling ‘Total Bedtime’. Essentially everyone sleeps wherever the heck they like and I move to wherever there is space for me – I like to think I am the Johan Cruyff of bedtime… always finding space. Some nights I seem to sleep in 3 different places. Sometimes I can’t really remember moving from one place to another.

Pre-kids sleeping was fairly straight forward. I’d go to my room when I was tired, get in bed… and then go to sleep. Occasionally, I might go to bed early other times I’d stay up late. Honestly, the process of sleeping was gloriously boring. And, I’d always wake up in the same bed I went to sleep in.

Like ‘Total Football’ though the days of ‘Total Bedtime’ are numbered. Soon the players in my team will realise the tactical advantages of sticking to their strongest position and most suitably sized bed. And, maybe when I look back on ‘Total Bedtime’ I’ll look back on it with the same nostalgia as I look at ‘Total Football’… All I can do is hope that I don’t meet Germany too early in the competition and enjoy it while it lasts.

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Guest Monday, 01 March 2021

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