i picked my two girls up yesterday from School. Me eldest mentioned she was feeling dizzy at school as she did not sleep well as my youngest was up crying most of the night. My ex was notorious for not hearing our girls when we were together, i would always deal with them if they woke in the night. I asked her if Mummy helped and she said no because she didnt hear her (she had tissue in her ears apparently) I asked her if she went to wake mummy up to help. She first said she knocked on the door then changed it to knocking on the wall. What concerns me is when I asked why she knocked on the wall rather then go in to their mums room, me eldest told me that they get locked in to their room from the outside. Is that even legal??? They are 7 and 4 years old. I asked her why they get locked in and the eldest looked a bit nervous as if she has told me something she shouldn't have. It worries me that their mum does not hear them and what would happen if one of them is hurt or needs help but they are both locked in and the mum does not even hear them.
This weekend is going to be the first weekend I have them staying over night too. I might bring it up with the mum once that is out of the way and see why she does this.
Yes, good plan to discuss with your ex first. If you're concerned about the children it would be worth having a chat with the school and telling them too. They will tell you if they feel the children are troubled. If you are still worried, then a call to social services would be the next step. You might be advised to tell your ex this is what you propose. Hopefully you can discuss your concerns calmly with your ex.
I agree with the comment made from Champagne regarding speaking with your ex partner about the girls and their night time experience. Try to keep things as calm as you can, and if possible have a chat with their mum, when the girls are busy doing something else. Perhaps you could both discuss and re do a bedtime routine together, to make the girls feel as reassured as possible when they are with their mum. I understand it won't be easy but the subject of a lock on the outside of the door will need to be discussed. Again, as the girls dad, you could have a quiet word with the girls teachers, just to see how they are doing. But definitely speak with their mum first. Hope you manage to resolve things,
Perhaps you could try to discuss with mum when the girls are at school so there is no risk of them over hearing any discussion about things.
As stated, you could chat to the school and ultimately Children's Services to raise concerns.
Do you have a court order in place for your contact or is this a private arrangement?
@yoda yes we have COA in place, this weekend was the first time I had them stay overnight. It went really well although my eldest did end up in my bed eventually which i didnt really mind.
Me and the ex are not really on speaking terms, we just discuss things via email.
Is your order a final order or are you still in proceedings?
@yoda yes it is a final one (I think) it states 1st May overnights start for one night each fortnight, I want way more than that. The order states that an increase in overnights is to be discussed and arranged bu parents, but I think i will most likely have to go to court to vary it as I do not think she will agree to any sort of increase as she has been making everything very difficult