Illness

Personally I would not return the children to the mother. I would also apply to the courts for an emergency hearing and keep the children until heard. She can’t do anything other than go to police who May visit you to check children are ok. She could apply to the courts, but the children would stay with you and means you get to have your say in court. I would definitely speak to the school and gather whatever evidence i could. You could also speak to their GP. The courts will involve CAFCASS and a section 7 safeguarding will be done. You will at least know you have done everything you can to protect your children from what you believe to be an unsafe situation for them. A relative of mines ex has just done exactly this. 

You should only not return the children if there are clear safe guarding issues. Issues such as lack of sleep, nutrition, attention wouldnt fall into this. If you did go down the route of keeping them and the mother was successful at court, she could then stop access claiming that you have harmed the children by keeping them from seeing their mother, psychological trauma etc and you would then end up going through all sorts with cafcass and the courts etc.

Hello @concernedfather17,

I just would like to pick up the subject of your concerns regarding your children's health and nutrition. (I am not in the position to be able to comment on the other issues) This may or may not be helpful for you, but is there anyway that you could together with your children make a little booklet of their favourite meals and drinks that they could take to their mums ? This may encourage their mum to cook with them and this way it ensures their level of nutrition is being maintained. 

Sometimes, when a child is unwell with things like a tummy ache, cold, etc, it can be a sign that they are anxious about something, which will cause physical anxiety symptoms as well as internal anxiety. Try and spend some 1-1 time with each of your children, perhaps using an activity to aid conversation, and ask them how things are at school, is there anything worrying them etc. Sometimes children will also talk when you least expect it, when helping with chores, or at bedtime - so be prepared if you've asked the questions, they may need time to process things before answering. Another idea is for you to have a notebook that you leave in a certain place for the children to write down anything they feel worried about or may have a question about. 

It reads like you want the best for your children, keep up the good work and keep talking to your children and spending as much time with them as you can. 

Obviously if you do have any safeguarding concerns, then these must be reported through the correct channels. 

Wishing you all the best, Fegans PSV