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My wife died leaving me with 2 young kids, I can't cope

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My wife tragically died suddenly just before Christmas last year. We have two kids who were 2 and 6, now 3 (daughter) and 7 (son). I just can't cope being a single parent and dealing with them. They seem fine and I feel like such a failure because I get so angry all the time and have no patience with them. My daughter, I have no idea how to cope with tantrums and meltdowns. Thankfully have good relationship with son. Any help/advice be much appreciated. 

Topic starter Posted : 26/08/2023 10:20 pm
Illustrious Member


Take a look at this:

Can also try helpline at Gingerbread:

Posted : 27/08/2023 1:08 pm
Illustrious Member

Speak to your GP and see what help is available for you. One thing to note, you are definitely not a failure, and you may not realise it, but you have had to concentrate on looking after your children, and haven't actually had time to grieve.

Posted : 28/08/2023 1:55 pm
Active Member Registered

Man, I'm so sorry you're going through this rough patch. Losing your partner is heavy stuff, especially with little ones depending on you. First off, cut yourself some slack, dude. It's a steep learning curve, and you're only human. It's totally okay to seek help—whether that's from family, friends, or professional counselors. For the kiddos, especially your daughter, maybe check out some parenting books or YouTube channels that specialize in coping with tantrums. Remember, you're not alone and it's okay to ask for help. Take it one day at a time, brother.

Posted : 29/08/2023 9:45 pm
Estimable Member Registered

Hello there,

I am sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how difficult it has been for you since your wife died. Well done for still being Dad and getting through so far!

Firstly for yourself - may I suggest that you go and see your GP who is able to refer you for some counselling? There are some good bereavement charities that offer support both via online, face to face and over the phone. It may benefit you to confide in someone outside of your usual circle of friends and family. Very often when we are adults looking after our young and we face deaths, we don’t look after our own grief very well. 
Secondly, in regards to your daughter, aged 3 , I would like to suggest that she is experiencing lots of feelings that she perhaps is not aware of and also how to understand them. 1-1 time is a particularly great thing to do each day if you can, and you let your child lead the 20 mins of play time - choose an activity- and through this time it allows you to bond and for them to perhaps begin to open up and share how they are feeling.

The children may not want to mention Mum too much incase it upsets you, and sometimes these feelings and losses manifest themselves in inappropriate behaviour or sheer frustration because they are unsure of how to show their emotions. 
Online there are lots of emotions charts and games that you can use to go through with your children and to talk about how you are all feeling. Emotions are not bad - they are good, but it is how we deal with them that is important.

Perhaps you could make a special memory box for your children full of things that their Mum loved, like her favourite perfume, CD, game, story to read to your children etc. 

Remember to be kind to yourself and to accept that at the moment you will all have times when your grief is really raw and when you handle it better. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but try to remember to communicate with each other and at aged 3 , show your daughter and reassure her how loved she is. 
I wish you and your family the very best,


kind regards Parent Support 

Posted : 15/09/2023 4:20 pm

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