We are raising 3 kids : 2 (nursery), 4 (nursery), 7 (school).
Both are working full time. Relocated from another country about 7 years ago, don't have any family relatives around.
I think last year mentally broke us, I'm on a high dose of antidepressants, wife is still holding on. The rhythm of life when you spend your time either at work or with kids is killing after so many years. We are like walking zombies from 7am till 9pm . I don't enjoy being with kids anymore.
I don't see any exit out of this. We can't send kids to our parents and our parents can not come to us. With 2yo you still have to spend almost all time with them.
Its hard work raising children. As you say, its full on when they are young. Can you take it in turns to have a break? Do you have interests that you can follow when its your time off? Check out the various activities that are stress reducing such as swimming, gardening, yoga, baking. Exercise and fresh air are important. Take the kids to the park at weekends. Is there a baby sitting circle near you so you both get time together? Perhaps you can have one to one time with the children so you get to know them as individuals. It will get easier as they get older but it sounds as though some changes to your routine could be made. Keep communication gong with wife so you find a way through this together.
One trick is to plan days or events for the two of you that the children can come to, rather than planning things around the kids. Also play areas, such as childrens play villages etc, where there are other children around to play with gives you chance to sit with other parents and chill out slightly, while the children get on with it and play with other children, so they are tiring themselves out, rather than you.