DAD.info
2 homes, one priority: your child - Join the free Parenting After Separation course
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
2 homes, one priority: your child - Join the free Parenting After Separation course
Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:

Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.

Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.

If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help

Notifications
Clear all

struggling to be a dad - controlling wife


Posts: 1
Registered
Topic starter
(@singhr2)
New Member
Joined: 1 week ago

Hi I am a father struggling with parenting a 2 1/2 year old girl. my wife does not allow me to do anything with my daughter and is extremely controlling, to the point I am contemplating divorce. I feel like I am not being allowed to be a dad, and it probably doesn't help we are in an interfaith marriage where I have not been allowed to share my religious views with my daughter. Just wondering if there is any support anyone can recommend for fathers. I'm feeling very low at the moment and afraid if I pursue divorce I will lose contact with my daughter and be left with nothing

2 Replies
Posts: 5504
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago

hi, sorry to hear your having a difficult time. could it be that she is just being very protective of child, due to tender age?

if you think there are serious issues, you could both try couples counselling?

Reply
Posts: 36
(@dadmod6)
Eminent Member
Joined: 2 years ago

Hello, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling.  Have you tried to share how you are feeling with your wife?  Could you try to find a time (ideally when you are not both exhausted at the end of the day) when you can talk about how you are both finding parenting, to understand what each of you is worried about, and to explore how you can both support each other?  Parenting is often not easy, and sometimes it helps just to talk about it.  If it is difficult doing this just as a couple, you could ask a trusted friend or family member to help mediate, or as DadMod2 has suggested, maybe external support to help work things through is an option?

Your daughter will benefit from having time with both Mum and Dad.  Are there times in the week when you can spend focused time playing with you daughter, reading her a story, being led by her, just enjoying being in the moment together (what does she enjoy doing?).  These one-to-one times will help form the foundation of strong parent-child bonds, and are important for both you and Mum, and so important for your daughter.  Could you find a regular time when Mum can then have 20 minutes for herself e.g. going for a walk, sitting with a coffee, meeting a friend? 

In the same way, is there something you can do each week to look after your own wellbeing (maybe going for a walk with a friend or joining a local social / activity group of some kind).  The aim is to find a way forward so that you and your wife are supporting each other, whilst giving your daughter the best start in life by having you both in her life.  

If you continue to feel low, do talk to a trusted family member, a friend or your GP.

Hoping you can find a way forwards together.

Reply
Share:

Pin It on Pinterest