Hi all.
I'm back on here, two years ago I sent through a divorce, was kicked out etc, etc... Anyway I met someone new in Nov2017. All was good until for a while, but her kids are just hard work. Boy is 13 1 daughter is 18. The son gets into trouble at school every week and is so far behind with school education its scary, doesn't even know how to tell the time. Daughter is aggressive, horrible attitude and swearing all the time. Now she's 18 all she wants to do is drink. So it's making it hard for me, I don't look forward to going around their house and it's putting a massive wedge in the relationship. My daughter does not like the family and won't go round there. Looks like my only option is to cut my losses. We have discussed the problems but they won't change. Help!
Hi there
To,be honest I don't think,your relationship has much of a chance of success, especially as your daughter won't have anything to do with them. It's my opinion that she should come first.
Speaking frnkly, the mother and children come as a package and if you haven't bonded with the children and are unlikely to in the future, this is setting up,problems for the future.
It's your call, but if it were me I'd have to think seriously about nipping it in the bud.
Hi, yes I agree, that's my opinion too. My daughter will always come first, and it was OK for a while but lately going round to her house is just a nightmare. Some times it's OK, but mostly it's noise and arguing and Slagging off people etc.
Thank you for the advice, I guess I knew the answer anyway but just wanted to see if anyone had any ideas. I think it's just a difference in where we come from, I'm not posh but there is definitely a difference in what we find acceptable.
Any advice on the way to end this, we have talked lots and I think we both know deep down it probably won't work.
Cheers
I'd just try and be truthful, but in a nice way. Explain that you've decided to prioritise your daughter and the fact that she refuses to go round probably means that she is struggling with the new situation and just isn't ready for it.
If you've already discussed the situation, I'd develop that further... it's probably the case that you're not ready for a ready made family either and she and her kids deserve better than your half hearted attempts.