Hi,
just wanted to ask how dads deal with their ex's post break-up?
its all too common where ex transforms into a monster and becomes as nasty as possible. how do you guys deal with that? i have one of those monster ex's.
in my case, whether i be nice or not, it makes no difference whatsoever. i believe there should be consequences (non-violent/non-physical) in cases where ex uses children as weapons to hurt their dad. what do you think?
Way I’ve dealt with it is to be mature and concentrate on the children. I ignore the messages, hang up the phone if shouting/arguing. I’ve learnt I am in control to accept how I am spoken to or not. I even was threatened with if I didn’t speak on the phone should would drive to my house so I would hear what she had to say face to face. :silly:
The children will always come first to me and I hope the last year has proved this to her and my family.
I’ve had petty comments, court threats, anger outbursts, abusive texts but I will never rise to her. All are when ever she doesn’t get her own way. The next day it will be like nothing ever happened / was said.
Agree there should be consequences and all have been documented as evidence if she ever decided to try stop me seeing the children. I suspect she won’t though as she enjoys her “free” time with her new partner.
My ex has bipolar and I had really torid time dealing with her messages she would demand lifts on my day off or use the kids as a weapon if I said no etc and was really stressful not knowing what text message would come next,
Now everything is more stabilised and im much more mature and finally we have reached a common ground I've learnt that if I agree with most things she says I in turn have an easier life and sleep alot better your never going to win with woman they have more rights than us you must play ball till that child is 16 or 18 then you won't have to deal with her as much and have a more direct relationship with your kid.
Make boundaries and be firm if it's carrys on tho even if that means getting a court order,blocking her number and having earphones on everytime you pick the kid up lol
One solution is to buy a new phone (only needs to be cheap one with payg sim) and use this purely for contact with you ex - that way you have control over when you speak to her as you can turn it off whenever you wish.
Hi Bill. I'm going through it right now.. I've been separated from my wife for nearly 4 months. Because I have a non molestation order against me I've not seen my children on all that time, it's killing me.. I've seen her drive past me at times, but I put my head down, or look away, I dread to think what my children think, I just don't want her saying horrible things about me to them. I ve bee n married 14 years, I've got a feeling she's moved a bloke in, can you give me any advice what I can do if she has?? Im worried if she has a bloke around my children... Thanks Bill...
hi Devo,
if she has found a new partner, you have no control over that. better just to try not to think about it. we can't change our ex, so all the other stuff about other bloke etc is beyond our control. just hope these new partners are not dangerous psychos, for sake of the children. if your worried about safety of your children, then you could try enquire about the new guy and if he has criminal/violent past etc. i doubt your ex would want to tell you anything like that.
i have read some cases on here and other forum, of dads going back to court again, because the ex stopped them seeing kids. all because the dad moved on & found a new partner/wife and ex became jealous. its pathetic. i am expecting my ex to start acting weird if/when I re-marry.
Give her space to think...