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[Solved] 20 months down the line Im back at rock bottom

 
(@brokendad)
Reputable Member Registered

Good evening lads and lasses. Some of you may remember me from what I cant believe is now approaching 2 years since my world fell apart. I feel so selfish knowing that I get a better deal than some dads but it just seems utterly [censored] and unfair. My situation since my self imposed exile from this site (as I was never off it) has improved dramatically. I have managed to attain via court fortnightly weekends once at my home and once in his town with my son, the weekend being Friday to Sunday Inclusive and half the holidays. During the week is not practical due to the distance being over 130 miles apart. I get 1 measly phone call a week from him despite him wanting to talk to me more which he tells me all the time. I text my ex who refuses to reply to a single thing still nearly 2 years on and I only ever text if necessary and its concerning my sons welfare or travel arrangements.

In that time, a few times apart right at the beginning when my son was brought to see me for 3 heartbreaking hours each fortnight in my town, pretty much for approaching 2 years, 2 weekends out of 4 I travel 280 miles on a Friday there and back and the same on a sunday when hes at my home and on the weekends in his town, 140 miles there on Friday, the expense of a hotel/guesthouse stay, the expense of eating, entertainment etc.

I have even got myself a new lassie who I love to bits in the last 6 months and has been my rock but Im on the verge of losing her because I simply cannot stop crying. Things were going ok till the festive season, I had my son as agreed for a week till the weekend and took him home. Since then Ive been hit with the depressive sledgehammer. I was at work yesterday but couldn't lift my head today, spending most of it crying.

im going to the docs tomorrow to get my anti depressant changed, heres hoping it works, I cant go on feeling like this......

Hope the guys Slim, Mojo etc who were on the scene when I was before are all doing ok and best of luck to any newer posters who have since had to endure this nightmare.

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Topic starter Posted : 06/01/2016 1:11 am
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi there

I'm sorry to hear about this BD... From the sound of your post I thought you were doing well, I still think you've come a long way. Life is full of ups and downs that can strike without warning, I think a trip to the Docs would be a good idea...I'm sure things will get back on track soon, in the meantime keep talking my friend.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/01/2016 3:11 am
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Slims having problems getting on site at the moment, but he's asked me to post the following for him...

Whoop! Whoop! long time no post BD I'm over the moon you're getting to see your little one but saddened to hear that you seem to be struggling again, is that what you're getting down about just the actual situation and missing your son? or is it just the way the ex is still being?

I'm doing great and I have my girl pretty much 50/50 now she's just started nursery today!

Whoop! Whoop! long time no post BD I'm over the moon you're getting to see your little one but saddened to hear that you seem to be struggling again, is that what you're getting down about just the actual situation and missing your son? or is it just the way the ex is still being?

I'm doing great and I have my girl pretty much 50/50 now she's just started nursery today!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/01/2016 3:15 am
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Seems there's some site tech problems...that wasn't the whole message that Slim sent and I'm unable to upload the rest of it. Sorry BD

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Posted : 06/01/2016 3:28 am
(@mr-slim)
Famed Member Registered

Testing testing 🙂

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Posted : 06/01/2016 3:53 am
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member

Hi BD

Sorry to hear you're struggling. Like Mojo says, a trip back to the docs is a step in the right direction. Be kind to yourself, you've come a long way and achieved so much, it's completely normal to have difficult times.

I have sent you a pm as well.

Yoda.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/01/2016 3:53 pm
 actd
(@actd)
Illustrious Member

Hi BD - as well as going to the doctors, it might be worth getting some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. What you are feeling isn't wrong, but you aren't coping with those feelings, and the therapy may well help you to do just that.
I hope it all improves for you soon.

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Posted : 07/01/2016 12:48 am
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