Guys - my daughter has had one of those tough weeks where she didn't make the sports teams on two occassions, and then lost her place in a christmas play due to a mess-up by the adults.... She was really down today and i really didn't know what to do....
Gave he a hug, told her i wanted her on my team, that she was special and unique... but just felt at something of a loss as to what to say?
What do you say when they don't make the team (and they've been working really hard to improve!)
Dude sometimes there are no words to say - life can be tought at times. I think the question is how do we get our kids to survive the knocks and still walk tall. Sounds like you reacted really positively. How is she doing 3 days on?
yeah, seems to have passed..... As a dad i felt so defensive and wanted to go down there and have it out with the games teachers.... I used to hate not making the team at school, and think if they are so keen to get our kids doing more sport then that have to think about this competitiveness thing.... They put kids off sport!
I've been there myself as both a parent and player who didn't make a team. Both my kids play sports at a competitive level above recreational so they have to go through try-outs and evaluations every year in order to play again. There have been times when one or both didn't make a team so there were/are times when I have to help both through it. What has worked for me so far:
#1 - If possible, relate the situation to a similar personal experience that you or someone you know had where they also didn't make a team (Unfortunately, I have plenty of personal examples)
#2 - I try to draw a clear distinction between sports and their value as a person. With my two, this seems to help diminish the impact in the right context.
#3 - YMMV, but I try to have them set a goal to make the team next year, and plan out steps to reach that goal (ie: lift weights, better shape, etc.)
Again, this is what has worked for me so far.
good tips cyclops, thanks.
I have one, what do you do when your boy thinks he is good at a sport, but you are not so convinced!? I've so far tried to do some of the stuff you are already suggesting, and help him keep his feet on the ground, but are there any other tips out their dadtalkers?
Ta
Buzz