Hi everyone. New here, so excuse if I’m asking an obvious one. First the background. After divorce my ex and I agreed through a consent order for the children to live with her for the majority of the time. She’s not the most stable person - long term diagnosed depressed. Unhealthy relationship with alcohol. But she was a good mum and the divorce (I thought) would make us both happier. I would have the children 3 nights out of 14. And agreed to pay CMP to reflect the time difference. Long story (very) short. She had a breakdown and after a safeguarding concern raised by the school and GP, the kids came to live with me. Social services concluded kids were best left in my care. CAFCASS agreed and after a court hearing or two, there is now a live with order in place and due to some less than okay behaviour from my ex, we also were granted a restraining order. The kids now go to the ex 3 nights in 14.
All is okay, but because she is claiming disability benefit I get no CMP from her. The issue is I know she is working. She works from home as a therapist (ironic!) and earns about £60/hr paid cash in hand. From what the kids tell me and from what I know from others, she sees about 8 clients per week, so she’s on about £500/week!
I’ve reported her for benefit fraud. But she’s very convincing and I’m sure will just pull the wool over their eyes. Is there anything more I can do, it’s hard to make ends meet and some help with school clothes and money for food would make a massive difference. All advice gratefully received.
The best way is to speak to her and ask if she is able to contribute towards your children even if by email/WhatsApp if not possible in person. The fact she is on disability allowance is irrelevant. I am sure the beauty treatments she is doing is all off the books which is no help to yourself. Ringing up and informing what she is doing will make relations between you even more hostile. Its very frustrating for you I can imagine for sure but what can you do 🙁
Thanks for the reply. I’ve tried reason and being polite. I’ve tried to show the finances. But she just sees everything as ‘winning and losing’ and is super aggressive (hence the restraining order).
It’s completely desperate.
Also. The disability benefit isn’t irrelevant as being on disability means she has no child support liability.
hi,
if shes unreasonable theres not much you can do, other than report her for benefit fraud. look at the positives, most dads would envy your position of kids living with you full-time
are you getting child benefit money for the kids?
Thanks. I know, it’s great and living with me is the best outcome for them. It’s just galling to know what she’s getting away with.
I do get the child benefit now. But she was claiming for that for a while until I cottoned on and had to provide the order to child benefit. I think they might have given her a bill for the benefit she claimed whilst they weren’t living with her.