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Hi all 


So about a year ago I was contacted randomly by cms asking for payment for a 10 year old child I never knew I even had. This has come as a massive shock to me and is now mentally draining and causes constant anxiety regarding my new partner of several years not knowing about this and what to do as this won’t end up well and also having to explain where £700 a month ish is gone out of my wage each month as I now cannot afford to rent my house. 

Long story short. I questioned cms I was told due to data protection they couldn’t tell me anything about this woman to even contact and ask her about it. I was then told I had to pay a fixed fee in the hundreds for a dna test and also keep paying the payments until they got the tests back. 

my anxiety got the better of me I thought about how it would affect my current relationship and add further money problems if I didn’t pay. So I took the hit and started paying. The payments were not affordable at the time and it cause massive problems with bills. ( forgot to mention this account got set up with about £800 arrears already owed ) fast forward about a year and a half I got depressed due to this and quit my job as I didn’t have a wage hardly . I only earned £300 and they wanted £150 a week. How I don’t know. 

I then went on benefits and the fee dropped to £7 a week, but for some reason the bank account I had made especially for paying this had closed down and I had lost the bank account details to which I missed a few payments. 

Fast forward till now I have recently started a new job end of feb, immediately I have had 2 letters demanding money of £220 a week and 1 saying about missed payments and they have been told to collect and pay. I get monthly pay so I haven’t even had a payment yet and I also cannot afford to pay this ridiculous amount. This woman was very toxic and would often abuse me when we briefly had a relationship back all them years ago. I feel she is back and not for the short term, I don’t know what to do and my mental health simply cannot take it anymore. What should I do? 

Topic starter Posted : 12/03/2024 1:13 pm
Illustrious Member


I suggest you get in touch with your local MP and ask them to intervene with CMS on your behalf. with arrears they should let you spread out repayments over a 2 year period at minimum. if you think their calculations are wrong or you should not be on collect and pay, should get MP to complain to them.

Posted : 12/03/2024 6:08 pm
John96 reacted
New Member Registered

Sorry to hear you are going through this!  With hindsight you should have waited for DNA results and took it from there.  Many women out of desperation will look to ex partners for extra money even if the child is not theirs.  It shouldn't happen but it does!  I think you need to recontact the CSM and explain the situation, maybe they can put the account on hold until the DNA situation is resolved.  I have always found the people at CSM to be reasonable and friendly to deal with or maybe i have just been lucky so far!  Good luck with everything

Posted : 14/03/2024 1:29 pm

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