hi all
i have four kids with my ex wife. my oldest son has moved in with myself and is refusing to see his mother at all.
I have paid the same to his mother as I did before he moved in. I have looked on the calculator but it only gives you a 3 or more option as there is still 3 of my children living with her. I am unsure of what to do, as I cant afford to pay the same as I was as well as look after my son, any advice would be greatly received . many thanks in advance.
hi
Yes, you are correct that you need to continue to pay her the same as it is for 3 or more children. However, get an application in to get child benefit for your oldest son (assuming he's still in full time non-advanced education and below age 20) and then you can put in a child maintenance claim against your ex for one child, based on her income.
Good advice from actd, get the child benefit claim in immediately, you may also be entitled to other in work benefits too, which is worth looking into... possibly council tax/help with rent.
They won't reduce what you pay her, a separate claim needs to be initiated and if eligible, you will pay each other. It's more about the other benefits that you can claim for that will help too.
All the best
Hello Dave1366
I can see that you have already been given some good advice about claiming Child Benefit and other related benefits for your son, who is now residing with you. Generally the parent seen as a child's main carer will be entitled to receive these benefits, in addition to child maintenance from the other parent.
Child Maintenance Options is an organisation designed to help parents by providing information about their maintenance options and how to negotiate an existing family-based arrangement. By using their Online Calculator you can adapt your current calculation, with your children's mother, now your son is living with you. The amount of children you are paying for will be the same, however, where it asks "How many other children live in your household?" you can now enter 1, and this will reduce your maintenance payments for your other children.
As you are now the main carer of your son, you also have the option of asking your children's mother for a financial contribution towards his everyday living costs. If you already have a family-based arrangement in place with your children's mother you can negotiate between the two of you and come to an agreement that can take both calculations into account.
Many parents do now choose to sort out their maintenance between themselves as it can be the quickest and easiest way of setting up a maintenance agreement. Family-based arrangements are not legally binding, however, they are very flexible and can be easily changed. Child Maintenance Options do have some supporting tools on their website at https://www.cmoptions.org that might help you both come to an agreement.
Their Talking About Money Guide and their Discussion Guide are full of information about how you can plan your conversation, with your children's mother, and how to negotiate your agreement. They also point out the financial costs involved in raising a child and can give you both new ideas about what can be included in your agreement.
If you are able to renegotiate your arrangement with your children's mother, you can record this on their Family-based Arrangement Form. Although it is not a legally binding document it can put your agreement on a more formal basis. You can also agree a renewal date for your agreement in case either of you have a change another in circumstances in the future.
If you find you are not able to renegotiate your family-based arrangement you may wish to consider making an application to the Child Maintenance Service. They are the Government’s statutory maintenance service and can either calculate your child maintenance, then leave you to arrange payments between yourselves, or they can collect payments and pass them on for you.
If you decide to ask the Child Maintenance Service to arrange your child maintenance for you in the future, your children's mother's responsibility to pay will start from around the point that she is contacted by them and not from when you first apply. For further information about putting in place a statutory arrangement and the fees involved with this, you will need to contact Child Maintenance Options yourself and all of our contact details can be found on their website.
You may also be interested to know the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a website, 'Sorting out Separation'. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/
For more information and for a more personalised service, you may wish to visit the Child Maintenance Options website yourself.
Regards
William