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Private Maintenance Agreement - Divorce.

New Member Registered

First post, be gentle.

Sorry it's a bit of a long one.

My wife and I have been separated for 5yrs.

She's remained in the family home which has both our names on the mortgage. The mortgage comes out of a joint bank account which we've retained. I was happy to pay considerably more maintenance to enable her to stay in the family home with the children. Without the extra money she couldn't afford to live there. I've rented since the split because my name is still on the mortgage. She is intending to move in with her partner (this isn't an issue. We've both moved on).

We're looking to get the divorce finalised and sell the family home but we're getting stuck on who is entitled to what v's what is reasonable.

My wife is insisting on 50/50 of equity and pensions which results in me paying her a considerable amount either in pension or equity.

I've also contributed 50% to school uniforms, laptops for education etc.

My questions are;

1. Would the courts take into account the overpayments I've made?

2. Would the courts rule that she's entitled to pensions from the 5yrs we've been separated?


In addition,

My son is 19. He started an apprenticeship at 16 which included 4 days work and 1 day at college. Should I have been paying maintenance for him during this period? The government page says only if he does more than 12hrs in education.

My daughter is 18. She left school at 16, completed 1yr of an NVQ (Didn't finish the course) and has not been in education or employment for nearly 12months. Should I have been paying for the last 12 months.

We have no official legal or financial agreement in place. 

I don't begrudge paying for my children. I also don't begrudge paying my ex either part of my pensions or more equity. I was just hoping she would be a little reasonable about how I've gone about things to help her and the children. 

At the moment I feel like I've done the right thing (which is the main thing) and I'm going to get punished for it.


Thanks in advance.

Topic starter Posted : 21/04/2022 1:56 pm
Honorable Member

Welcome to the forum.  This seems rather specialist and you may need to get advice from a solicitor. I feel that if your payments were voluntary then they won’t count as overpayments.  I’m not sure about your son but I don’t think you should have been paying maintenance to your ex for your daughter. If you want to continue paying then it might be an idea to give your daughter an allowance 

Posted : 21/04/2022 3:03 pm
New Member Registered

@Trehorn going through something simillar to you this is not advice or anything official maybe your case may be different, but from what i have been told from my solicitor the ex is entitled to pension even though you were seperated as it wasnt official.


i have been married 6 and seperated 2 but as we hadnt got a financial order in place when we seperated she is entitled to the percentage of the full period even when seperated.

Posted : 21/06/2022 1:17 pm

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